Guilt is an awful feeling, especially when the person you love is the cause of it. Your significant other should never make you feel guilty about personal choices, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Here's how to deal with this difficult situation.
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1. Do Some Soul-searching
First, you should ask yourself why you don’t want to have sex. Are you not attracted to your partner anymore? Are you angry with him and just haven’t talked about it yet? Do these feelings have to do with something from your past? Maybe you simply don’t feel sexual attraction often or at all. Whatever the reason you don’t want to have sex, you should figure it out sooner rather than later.
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If you're in a relationship and you don't want to have sex with your partner, it can be difficult to tell them no. Unfortunately, some partners may make you feel guilty for saying no. This can be very damaging to the relationship because it can lead to feelings of resentment and mistrust.
It's important to remember that you have the right to say no to sex if you don't feel ready. You don't have to explain yourself to your partner or feel guilty about it.
If your partner is pressuring you to have sex, it's important to communicate your feelings. Have an honest conversation with them about why you don't want to have sex and how their pressuring is making you feel. If your partner continues to pressure you, it's important to set boundaries and be firm with them.
2. Know That It’s Okay
No one should ever force you or guilt you into doing something you don’t want to do or feel uncomfortable doing. If someone does, they are the problem—not you! Keep in mind that lacking sex drive doesn’t make you unusual in any way. It’s your body, your choice!
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It is important to remember that your sexual desires and boundaries are valid and should always be respected. No one has the right to pressure or manipulate you into engaging in sexual activities that you are not comfortable with. It is also important to know that having a low or non-existent sex drive is not uncommon and does not make you abnormal. It is your body and your choice to engage in sexual activities, and you should never feel guilty for saying no. If someone is making you feel guilty for not wanting to have sex, it is a red flag and a sign of an unhealthy and potentially abusive relationship. Remember to always prioritize your own well-being and never let anyone make you feel guilty for setting boundaries.
Frequently asked questions
3. Stand Your Ground
You shouldn't feel pressured to "give in" to him. You should never have pity sex, because that will just leave you feeling remorseful. Stand your ground and don't get pressured into doing anything just because you might feel guilty otherwise.
4. Talk about It
Maybe your bae doesn’t realize that he is making you feel guilty when you say no. He might just be disappointed and a bit of a cry-baby. As long as he doesn’t have bad intentions and doesn't actually want to pressure you into doing something you’re unwilling to do, talking will probably help. Tell him why you don’t want to have sex and that he has been making you feel bad about your decision. It’s often really hard for girls to say no to anyone, especially people we love. But if he loves and cares for you too, he should understand.
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It's essential to approach the conversation with a clear head and an open heart. Timing is key – pick a moment when both of you are calm and less likely to be defensive. Use "I" statements to express your feelings without assigning blame – like "I feel hurt when my boundaries aren't respected." Healthy relationships thrive on communication, so consider this an opportunity for growth. If he listens and begins to understand your perspective, it can strengthen the trust between you. Remember, asserting your comfort level isn’t just okay – it's your right.
5. Dump Him
If he is intentionally making you feel bad and being unkind when you refuse sex, you're probably in a toxic relationship. Trying to guilt you into sex is sneaky and manipulative. Do yourself a favor and leave him ASAP!
6. Communicate
You should communicate in general about your relationship, too. If sex is an important part of the relationship to him, but respecting your desire not to have sex is important to you, the relationship might not be meant to be. It's better to find out in a healthy way (through communication) early on, rather than wait until the relationship blows up in your face.
7. Talk to Someone
Talking to him may make you nervous or uncomfortable. If that's the case, talk to someone else first. You should take your time to understand your thoughts and feelings before you confront your partner. Discuss both sides of the story with someone you trust, like a family member, friend, or counselor.
There's no simple way to deal with this issue, but if you're open with yourself and others about the negative feelings you experience, your situation will improve with time. Whether improvement looks like breaking up with him or dealing with this together, you'll be happier in a guilt-free relationship. Have you experienced this situation? How did you deal with it?
Comments
kiyara: #1 All the previous make out sesh I had ended up being physical and not leading to anything in particular which actually hurt me. I feel like all the other guy ever wants is my body and when they're satisfied they just get on with it without bothering to think how much that impacts me. I'm not someone who doesn't get feelings attached after making out. I do dammit, I dislike it but that's a part of me. I just want it to be real. For once.
DivaLilacs: First point is good advice.. Nice piece
Alia: #5 yeah my boyfriend makes me feel this way all the time. Even will start arguments or making up, or say things like you said you wanted sex just cause I mentioned it.. Emotionally its draining.
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