Now I am not saying that you should be calling on these excuses not to have sex every night, since in general you do not want to have sex with your partner, then that is an entirely different kettle of fish. However, if you are anything like me (and most other woman I know) every now and then you literally can’t be bothered having sex with your other, more ‘energetic’ half. You have every right to just say no, but should you feel the need to soften the blow with an indisputable excuse, then try one of these excuses not to have sex on for size…
The key to the best excuses not the have sex is using something that your boyfriend can not pull you up on; feigning a cold without the hint of a sniffle is just not going to work. However, saying that you are bloated will. Who wants to get it on with someone when that person’s belly is supposedly full of food and even worse… gas. There is noting sexual about a bloated belly, even if it is just a figment of your imagination.
2. Woman Stuff
I do not encourage making up any excuses not to have sex that would cause your partner to worry about your health. Saying that your lady bits feel like they have been set on fire will undoubtedly get you out of sex, but may raise more alarm than intended. Try, "I'm just a little sore, I think I might have pulled something at the gym or sat down funny." Not only is it a weird conversation that most guys would like to end quickly, it’s not like he’s going to insist you get an x-ray as a precaution.
3. Problems with Plumbing
If it is too early for toilet talk, as in if you still like to think that your boyfriend doesn't think you poop and if you do they smell like roses - then give this one a miss. But if you are more than comfortable talking about number 1’s and 2’s then tell your sweetheart that the trains are backed up at the station and due to a signal failure you are not quite in the mood to get frisky. Problem solved.
4. Delayed Satisfaction
Faking an ailment is not for everyone, but there are other angles you can take when coming up with excuses not to have sex. Next time you are not feeling it, turn on your charm and whisper in your partner’s ear that it turns you on to have to wait. Tell him that it would be hot if you could leave it for the night; spend all day thinking about it tomorrow and then get down to business tomorrow night.
5. Out of Action
Back pain is another affliction that can not be contested and unless he is set on doing all the work, then it’ll be hard to get down to business if your back is playing up. If you know that your boyfriend is in the mood and you are too tired or just not feeling it, then mention a few times that your back is sore and hopefully he won’t even bring it up.
6. Mask It - Literally
If you are getting ready for bed and know that your boyfriend is up for some loving but you are not, then put a face mask on. It sounds drastic but guys know we girls love our beauty routines and besides, he is not going to want to start anything with your face looking like a swamp or slowly drying up like the desert is he?
7. Mix It up
Headaches are an age old excuse not to have sex so I would use this one sparingly and tweak it a little. Saying you have a lot on your mind and just need a good nights sleep is probably a better way to go, that way your boyfriend will not feel like you are pulling a fast one on him and it’s probably as close to the truth as possible.
Like I said at the start, these excuses are to be used sparingly and to be taken in a lighthearted manner. We don’t always feel like having sex when our boyfriends do and ‘I just don’t want to’ can seem a little lame (although true) at times. I have used some of these excuses at different times (don't tell) but on the same hand there have been times when I haven’t necessarily ‘felt like it’ but have gone along with things and ended up happy that I did! Do you have any excuses you pull when you are not in the mood? Or what is the worst excuse you have ever used?
Top Image Source: fashiongonerogue.com