There are some people who are naturally very free and fun loving with the ways that they express their sexuality, and then there are others who feel a little more embarrassed or reserved about what they get up to in the bedroom. Being on either side of that spectrum is fine, but certain problems can start to arise if you are so awkward and repressed that your intimacy with your partner starts to suffer. Here is how to talk about sex for better intimacy.
1. Before Sex
Before you even get in to bed together, it can be good to have a frank discussion about sex, about what you like, about what you don’t, about what you want to try. Having this kind of conversation outside of the bedroom is a low pressure way for both of you to take on board what the other is saying, and then be able to implement those things at a later time organically.
2. During Sex
Verbal communication is vital during sex in order to ensure that both of you are having a good time. If you like something, then reinforce that, if you want a different speed, let that be known, if you aren’t comfortable with a certain, then voice that discomfort. The more talking you do on the go, the better climax the both of you will be able to provide for one another.
3. After Sex
It can feel a little bit awkward to have a debrief straight after you have had sex, but the more open you can be in your communication about how you felt it went, maybe after some spooning or even the morning after, the more intimate the two of you will become. The biggest enemy of intimacy is silence, so don’t be silent on a matter as important as the love that you make together.
4. About Sex
This is just a more general theme of conversation, a conversation about sex that doesn’t even need to involve the two of you as examples. Just take the stigma and awkwardness of sex away by talking about it just like any other every day thing. You want your love making to feel special, but you don’t want it to feel like something that can’t be joked or talked about until you are in the bedroom and about to get to it.