There are lots of reasons to break up. It's great to be in love, but sometimes people put on a performance until we get close to them and then they turn into someone it seems like we barely even know. Other times, we could be overreacting to something we've simply overlooked during the first part of the relationship. Here are three reasons to break up for your sake and for theirs.
Table of contents:
- speaking up only brings you down
- there is no intimacy on any level
- you think about it constantly
1 SPEAKING up ONLY BRINGS YOU down
No relationship is without some level of stress. It could be something as small as the sound of someone chewing all the way up to infidelity. However, what helps any relationship last is when the lines of communication are (and remain) open with both parties working toward fixing whatever is wrong.
If you attempt to tell your significant other what you're thinking and feeling and they belittle you, argue with you, or try to turn you into 'the bad guy,' it's one of the biggest reasons to break up.
People who love and care about us, and are mature and confident in themselves, can hear us disagree with them or listen to us when we're in pain without trying to lash out at us.
2 THERE is NO INTIMACY on ANY LEVEL
This doesn't just mean sexual intercourse. If you're not sharing your goals and dreams, holding hands, leaning on one another through your struggles and disappointments, or hugging, these are strong signs that there is an emotional distance that has formed between you two.
If you try to initiate sex, or even a high five, and get rejected, something is definitely broken. Lulls like this may happen over the course of any long-term relationship, but when this lack of intimacy is the norm instead of the exception, something may be irreparably damaged.
3 YOU THINK about IT CONSTANTLY
Even if you haven't yet taken steps to break up, if you've been considering it long and hard - it's time. People who are in healthy, happy relationships consider ways to work through hard times. If you've tried that and the only solution you can come up with is to end it, that is likely the best answer.
On one hand, you could be in a relationship with someone who truly is not a good match for you for whatever reason. Being the kind woman that you are, you may have considered various ways to get the love back to the way it was when you both first met and are ust out of ideas. Nothing is working, so it's time to move on.
On the other hand, it could be that YOU are the one who is struggling with being a compassionate, loving, respectful partner. If you're having trouble managing things like your passive aggressive behavior or invading your significant other's privacy, maybe the break up would give the other person a chance to get some space from you. This would also give you time to step back and reevaluate whether or not you want to be in a relationship with someone at all, and consider what kind of partner you want to be if you do decide to date again.
Dating someone should be a voluntary decision that you're happy about the vast majority of the time. While an occasional bad mood or traumatic event can knock a relationship out of whack from time to time, love, respect, and communication will always bring you two back to where you started (and maybe even a better, stronger place). Keep an eye out for these three signs, and never hesitate to remove yourself from a situation that hurts you physically, emotionally, or mentally.
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