Most of us have had previous relationships before meeting our present partner. But how much should your current boyfriend know about your previous partners? Should you tell him everything, or should the past stay in the past? Here is what your boyfriend should know about your exes …
1. That They're in the past
None of us like to be reminded that our partner dated other people before us. We like to think that we're the only important thing that's ever happened to them. But everybody has a history, and it's part of your life. What they need to know is that your exes are in the past, and that you're living in the present.
2. What Went Wrong
It can be beneficial to tell your partner about what went wrong with previous relationships. This can help you both to avoid making the same mistakes. If you had any bad experiences then they probably do need to know, as that will have had an impact on how you react to issues today.
3. The Basic Details
Your partner should know the basic details about your exes, such as their name, how long you dated, and why you split with them. However, your partner doesn't need to know every little detail. They most certainly don't need to know any intimate details about your sex life, or hear that your ex was really handsome/ a fantastic kisser/ brilliant at everything he did. It'll make them feel that they can't possibly compare.
4. Any Risky Behavior
While you shouldn't give your new partner every little detail about previous sexual partners, they do have a right to know if you engaged in any risky behavior. That's because it could have very serious repercussions for them. In fact, it's a good idea for you both to get tested when you begin a new relationship.
5. Keep It Balanced
While it's tempting to bitch about your exes, try to keep any discussion of them fairly balanced. You shouldn't be either too gushing or too negative. If you're too complimentary about your ex, your present partner may think that you're still carrying a torch for them. If you're too negative, however, you boyfriend may think that you'll do the same to him if you split!
6. Avoid Comparisons
If you do talk about your exes, you should definitely avoid making any comparisons between them and your current partner. It's not fair on the guy you're now dating to compare him to someone who's in your past. He might feel that he's not good enough for you and that you're secretly wishing you were still with your ex.
7. That You're over Your Ex
It's wise to allow some time to get over a broken relationship before embarking on a new one. We need time to heal and get over the upset. Reassure your boyfriend that you're over your ex, so that you can give your full attention to building a great relationship with him.
It can be difficult to know just what you should tell your boyfriend about your exes. The key is to make it clear that you have moved on, and only tell him what he needs to know. He may not need to know about things that won't affect him. And don't quiz him for every little detail about his exes! Have you ever found out anything that you didn't want to know about a boyfriend's past?