So you've been in a relationship for a while and are more than ready to walk down the aisle but does he feel the same way? You may be in a great relationship but what's the point if it's not going anywhere? If you have your doubts, these signs he may never propose, will come in handy. There's nothing worse than being in a dead end relationship where you're in it for the long haul but where he may never propose. If you have been noticing these signs he may never propose, maybe it's time for serious action!
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1. Negative Thoughts about Marriage
While you may be the sorts who has always been dreaming about a dazzling rock on your finger, the most romantic marriage proposal, the perfect wedding dress and happily ever after, he may detest the very idea of marriage. Does he hate going to weddings? Does he often talk about marriage as the "end" of a guy's life and wonder out loud why people even get hitched? Maybe he doesn't believe in the institution of marriage, maybe he's just commitment phobic or maybe he believes that all marriages are meant to fail. Either way, if the two of you are on opposite ends when it comes to the very idea of marriage, chances are you may never get him to change his mind.
2. He Plays Hot and Cold
Some days he's extra attentive and romantic, buying you flowers and taking you out on lovely dates, while on other days he's just a jerk and won't call you for days on end without a reason. If he's inconsistent in the relationship, it's probably because he's indecisive and doesn't know what he wants from you. And until he figures out what he wants, chances are he's not going to propose.
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3. You're Not Close to His Friends and/or Family
An important sign he will never propose is if he doesn't make an effort to integrate you with his friends and family. Sure, you've met them a couple of times on a couple of occasions, but if he sees you as his potential wife, he will make sure that they know you as more than some girl he's dating. He will ensure that you're as much a part of their lives as he is, if not more.
4. You Only Have Short Term Plans
When it comes to making plans for next weekend, he's all in and excited but talk about going away on vacation together next year and he chokes up and mutters something like "We'll talk when the time comes". If he sees you as a part of his future, he'd have no qualms making plans or at least considering them and that's that. If he can't commit to a long term plan, he's probably not in it for the long haul.
5. Avoids Talking about the Future
Nothing says "sign he may never propose" like avoiding talks about the future. Does he shy away from conversations about long term commitment? Do you end up fighting every time you talk about the future or kids? Does he freak out when you bring up the "M" word? Does he always change the subject when it comes to your future with him? If he won't even discuss it, how is he ever going to pop the question?
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If a man is avoiding conversations about long term commitment, it may be a sign that he may never propose to you. He may get uncomfortable when you talk about marriage, or try to change the subject. He may also be hesitant to talk about having kids together or other plans for the future.
This could be a sign that he is not ready to make a commitment to you, or that he is not interested in marrying you. It could also be a sign that he is not sure of his feelings for you, or that he is not sure if you are the right person for him.
It is important to talk to him about his feelings and intentions, so that you can avoid any misunderstandings. If he is not willing to talk to you about the future, it may be a good idea to move on and find someone who is.
If you are in a relationship with someone who is avoiding talking about the future, it is important to be honest with yourself and make sure that you are not wasting your time. It is also important to remember that not everyone is ready to make a commitment, and that it is okay to walk away if you feel like it is not the right time for you.
6. All Talk, No Action
Maybe the two of you have had a serious discussion about marriage a while back, where you told him how you felt and he seemed very eager to take things forward but that's it... nothing has happened since. There has been no house hunting, no ring shopping, no proposal signs, no hint whatsoever and when you bring it up, all you get are excuses and more excuses. Unless these seem like legitimate reasons, chances are he's just buying time, till he's cornered into absolutely having to make a decision.
7. Too Used to Each Other
This is probably the number one reason why he may never propose. If the two of you have been together for a while and are practically married where you live together, have sex, share finances etc. chances are he's perfectly comfortable with the arrangement and doesn't see a reason why anything should change. It's a classic "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" situation. There's no set period within which a couple has to get married or even talk marriage but about a year and a half to two years is long enough to decide whether or not your partner is the one. If it doesn't seem like you're moving forward 2,3, 4 years into a relationship, maybe you're just not the same page.
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This article is written to provide insight into why a man may not be ready to propose to a woman. It outlines 11 signs that may be indicative of a man's reluctance to take the next step in a relationship.
One of the signs is that the couple has become too used to each other. This is often the case when a couple has been together for a while and have become comfortable with their arrangement. They may be living together, having sex, and sharing finances, but the man may not see a need to take the relationship to the next level. This could be a result of him feeling that the relationship is already fulfilling his needs, thus he doesn't feel the need to make it official.
Another sign is that the couple has been together for a long time without talking about marriage. While there is no set time limit for when a couple should get married or even talk about marriage, a year and a half to two years is usually a good indicator of whether or not the couple is on the same page. If the couple is not progressing after two years, it may be a sign that the man is not ready to propose.
8. He's Still Living in the past
Sometimes, people have a hard time letting things go. If he still talks about his former relationships (whether it's casual or in comparison to whatever you're talking about), still reminiscing about his "glory years" at college or just unable to shake something from the past off his mind, it's a clear sign that he's unable to live in the present. If he's not living in the present, he's not really appreciating what he has with you. That means he's not even thinking about planning a future with you!
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Constantly reliving old memories indicates a certain fixation with times when he perhaps felt more successful, carefree, or valued. It's worrisome if these ruminations take precedence over creating new memories with you. Nostalgia can be a beautiful thing, but when it hinders someone from fully engaging with their current surroundings, including their partner, it's a red flag. If his heart is anchored in yesteryears, he might not be ready to set sail on the journey of commitment that a future with you entails.
9. He Feels like He Doesn't Have It All Together
Stability in life is very important for men. They like to know that they'd be able to take care of you if push came to shove. He can't do that if he's in between jobs or just going through some sort of life change. So, until he feels like he's got his life back on track, chances are he won't be proposing.
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It is not uncommon for men to feel like they need to have their lives in order before they can commit to a relationship. Men tend to feel a strong sense of responsibility to provide for their families, and if they don't feel like they can do that, they may be hesitant to propose. This is especially true if he is in between jobs or is going through a major life change. He may need to get his finances in order, find a stable job, or just get his life back on track before he can feel comfortable proposing.
It is important to remember that it isn't necessarily a reflection on the relationship. He may be feeling the pressure to provide for the future of the relationship, and if he doesn't feel ready, he may not be willing to take that step. If he is feeling this way, it may be helpful to have a conversation about it. Talk about his goals and what he needs to do to feel ready for marriage. Offer your support and understanding, and let him know that you will be there for him no matter what.
10. All His Friends Are Bachelors
Let's be honest, if he's hanging around with happy bachelors all the time, he's probably not going to want to change that lifestyle. Guys who want to get married usually have a few married friends! This might not be the case for every guy but if it rings true for you, he might not be too interested in the idea of marriage.
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Let's be honest, if he's hanging around with happy bachelors all the time, he's probably not going to want to change that lifestyle. Guys who want to get married usually have a few married friends! This might not be the case for every guy but if it rings true for you, he might not be too interested in the idea of marriage. Moreover, bachelor friends often reinforce each other's carefree and commitment-free lifestyle, making it even more challenging for him to envision settling down. Observing his social circle can provide valuable insights into his true intentions regarding your future together.
11. He's Not Good at Resolving Problems
When the going gets tough, does he run away from the problem? That's not going to help anybody! If he runs away (both figuratively and literally) when you guys hit a rough patch, he's not going to be that great in a marriage. The idea of even confronting the topic scares him! Not a good sign.
If your partner has been showing these signs that he may never propose, it is time to re-evaluate your relationship and have a serious discussion. Remember, it's always better out than in and rather than wonder if these signs he will never propose actually mean something, you should sit down, talk to him and figure out where he stands. Don't fight or give him an ultimatum, just have an honest "where do we stand" discussion with him. Good luck ladies! Have you ever experienced any other signs he may never propose? Do share!
This article was written in collaboration with editor Vanessa Salles.
Comments
CyranoSCW: #6 that is exactly what happened with my last boyfriend. Another sign I can think of is related...if you're not in the same place in your lives, that can be a huge problem because if one of you is always playing "catch-up" to the other in terms of maturity (age aside), it can't really be a partnership. Aforementioned boyfriend was in school and living at home while I was out on my own and working, but we were the same age...any future we talked about was put on hold so many times as he changed his major and put off graduation because graduation=moving out of his parents' house=relationship getting beyond the adolescent level. I got sick of waiting...I met my husband out of the blue and while I didn't break up with my ex *for* my husband meeting him was the "catalyst". Sorry this has gone on too long, but a big sign is if you're not in the same place in your lives and he doesn't seem interested in remedying that.
David: I've proposed to two different women, both long term relationships. The first one wanted a ring that was a little more than I was comfortable spending, especially since I had just bought a house we picked out, but I worked hard to pay for it after I got it. She was mad that I was always working and said she deserved someone that wanted to spend time with her. She left, and I was left broken hearted and poor. The second one was years later. I had healed from the previous relationship after five years. The new woman didn't want to live in a house I had picked out for another woman, so I sold it and started a new job making less than I did before in an area that was brand new to me. Bought the ring (not as pricey as the last), and the planning started. I was paying for most everything, because she Had gotten laid off 2 months after we moved in. After becoming almost broke, again, she decided (with her new friends) that I wasn't the right one for her because I could never hang out with all of them (mind you, I was working to pay for all her wedding plans). We woke up one morning and she notified me she was moving out and cancelled the wedding. I wasn't afraid of commitment, but I have no more intentions of getting married. I can't afford it. If I'm going to end up alone, I'll at least be able to afford to survive. Sometimes it's not the fear of commitment, but being kicked and beated as you are dragged through the mud that turns us guys off to the thought of marriage. These were stand up women, too. But they didn't know what they wanted out of life. I'm just done gettIng stuck with the bill.
Cassandra: My boyfriend is my high school sweetheart we live together and he really is my best friend.. I'm still totally lost on this subject with him. He has always been a closed book because of his mom not caring for his opinion. He has opened up but never thought of marriage. We are now expecting and he keeps replying to the question from other people after the baby is born. I just think even after the baby will be here it won't happen
Pear: I think the last sign that a couple is too used to each other is really sad. It just seems like these guys do not have a clue. Life is about development
Hamza: I love a girl, we have been together for 7 months, I believe she loves me too. the problem is it is not the kinda girl my parents want me to marry (because of different cultures). I'm really confused !
Lisa: Interesting article. I was in a relationship where my partner proposed because I gave him an ultimatum. Turns out he proposed cause he felt like I was right and that he should, not because he was truly head over heels. Painful realization 3.5 years later. Good advice not to try and convince him! It's really got to come from him and his heart.
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