All Women's Talk

7 Tips after You Have Been Blindsided by a Breakup ...

By Merarri

One day you can be walking on cloud nine thinking that everything is fine in your relationship, and the next you are blindsided by a breakup. This is one of the worst things that can happen when you are dating someone. because you are totally unprepared for the emotional fallout. I’m going to share a few tips that can help when you have been blindsided by a breakup.

1 Your Feelings Are Normal

When you fail to pick up any signs that your partner was unhappy in the relationship and he suddenly ends it, you are going to feel like you have been blindsided by a breakup. It’s normal to feel total shock and disbelief that this is happening to you because you thought you were both happy. You will torture yourself with endless questions wondering how did it all go wrong. All these feelings are normal and they will pass as you process this heartbreaking event.

2 Don’t Blame Yourself

Aside from cheating or doing something equally as destructive in the relationship, you can’t take the full blame for being in splitsville. If your ex wasn’t happy, he should have spoken up and discussed the issues that were bothering him. But some people feel it's easier to walk away rather than work through the issues towards a better relationship. You might have just been unlucky enough to fall for one of these types.


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3 Take Time for Yourself

Be super kind to yourself as you process this breakup. Your heart has taken quite a blow without warning and it’s going to feel as if your world has been flipped upside down. Often, your self-esteem will take a steep nosedive because you are going to feel unloved and unwanted. The best way to combat these negative feelings is to pamper yourself so you get mini boosts of happiness as you work your way through the emotional pain.

4 Be with Happy People

Keep misery to a minimum by hanging out with good friends that can give you a shoulder to cry on. Do fun things that you enjoy to take your mind off the breakup. It’s really easy to slip into depression when someone you love tells you that he doesn’t want to be with you. Surround yourself with people who think positive and can cheer you up when you are hurting the most.

5 Don't Waste Time Convincing Him

The last thing you should do is try to convince him that he made a mistake. Although it may have come as a complete surprise to you, it's highly likely he was thinking about exiting the relationship long before it happened. He gave it a lot of thought before he actually initiated the breakup. At this point, he has had more time to process the painful emotions and has detached himself from them.

6 Acceptance Won’t Come Easy

Although it always takes some time to accept a breakup, this one is going to be particularly difficult because you weren’t expecting to lose him at all. You will remember the most recent time that he said "I love you" and struggle with the idea that his feelings couldn’t have changed that quickly. Worst of all is that you will expect him to come back to you, and many times he won’t. It’s best to think of that relationship as a chapter in your life that has come to an end unless he says otherwise.

7 Distract Yourself

Find distractions to keep your mind from drowning in memories of your old relationship. After you have been through a blindsiding breakup, your mind is going to struggle and try to make sense of the whole situation, which will bring up many old memories. Find things to distract yourself like find a new hobby, sign up for a class in something you have always wanted to learn or learn a new language. The goal is to distract yourself so you won’t constantly be tortured by thoughts of your ex.

So those are just a few tips that can help you get through the breakup aftermath when someone you love suddenly leaves the relationship. How did you cope when you were blindsided by a breakup?

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