You’ve navigated the potential minefield of a first date and a second date is looming. How exciting. A second date is a whole new chapter. Those dos and don’ts that everyone says you shouldn’t do on a first date can be pushed to the wayside and the nerves have abated somewhat. You can now get on with the business of taking the next step into your new relationship. Here’s how to get through date number two and hook yourself a third.
So most of the small talk has already been done on the very first date, but one of the best tips for second dates is to reveal some more about yourself without giving absolutely everything away all at once. This doesn’t mean you have to be completely mysterious, but just be aware of how much you are revealing at such an early stage. If he’s really into you, he’ll want to find out the rest on the third, fourth and fifth dates!
Going on from picking and choosing what you reveal about yourself, remember not to repeat yourself on the second date with regards to things you said on the first. This might come across as meaning two different things to your date: one, that you are not interesting enough to be able to come up with new conversation points, or two, that you didn’t pay enough attention on the first date to remember what you said!
If you hit it off on the first date then there will definitely be a natural inclination to become a little closer on the second date, but there is a fine line between showing more affection and becoming too clingy too early. Basically, even if you think it's going even better than expected, try not to suffocate him with your presence. Don’t go making plans for months in advance, don’t suggest you meet each other’s families; just take it as it comes and enjoy being in the moment!
Sometimes I feel the onus is placed too much on the man to do the question asking and conversation starting on a date. Take some of the pressure off by responding well to his chatter and asking him thoughtful questions in return. He will be grateful to you for not making it too much hard work and the joint effort of socialization will really help to build a bond between the two of you at this early stage.
Remember, this is only your second date, not your second wedding anniversary! Don’t go into the date expecting too much of him or of yourself. Go with the flow and see where the evening takes you. The purpose of these early evenings and events together is the chance to figure out whether you are truly compatible or not, not to think way into the future about what may or may not become.
If you really like the guy, then take notice of what he talks about on your first date and expand upon it when your second date comes around. Whether it’s a particular sport or a particular film, showing him that you have thought about him and his interests in-between will let him know that you are truly willing to participate in his world.
If you like each other enough to have arranged a second date, then there is no point trying to keep up appearances and be something that you are not. If you have a wicked sense of humor, show it! If your favorite thing to do is tell knock knock jokes, then do it! There is not time to waste being somebody else. He has to see you and like you for who you really are!
Let’s hear some of your stories about second dates. Any truly disastrous ones you want to tell us about? Or did you fall in love on your second date?
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