All Women's Talk

7 Ways to Stop Repeating the Same Mistakes with Men ...

By Alison

Are you always making the same mistakes when it comes to romance? Do you always date guys that use you or do your relationships never progress beyond a few weeks or months? These patterns can be changed if you understand what is going wrong and why. So here's how to stop making the same mistakes with men, and get your love life back on track …

1 Be Honest with Yourself

If you're going to break the cycle, then some brutal self-assessment is needed. So be absolutely honest with yourself. That doesn't mean beating yourself up and hating yourself, but beginning to understand why you keep making the same mistakes. Once you've done that, you can start to change your approach and build better relationships.

2 Where Are You Going Wrong?

You also need to understand just where you are going wrong. Look for the common denominator in your relationships (aside from yourself). Is it that you always fall for guys who aren't looking for the same things? Or do you get freaked out when it gets too serious? Learn where you're making your mistakes so that you can do something about them.


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3 Why do You Make the Same Mistakes?

You also need to understand why you're repeatedly making the same mistakes. For example, if you get scared off by commitment it could be for different reasons. You may have seen your parents' marriage break up and fear the same thing would happen to you, so subconsciously make it happen anyway. Or you just may not be that into the idea of long-term relationships. The two issues demand a very different response, so this is why understanding yourself is important.

4 The Change Has to Be within You

If the pattern of your relationships is going to change, then there needs to be a change within you. Don't just expect things to magically alter if you don't do some work on yourself! As I've already pointed out, you are one of the common denominators in your relationships, so you need to make things different.

5 Take a Break from Dating

You may be making the same mistakes with men because you're continually rushing from one relationship to another without giving yourself time to think. Being in a hurry to find love again can make us miss warning signs. So consider whether you could benefit from taking a break from dating.

6 Think with the Head, Not with the Heart

Love may come from the heart, but you also need to use your head if you want to get things right. Don't just let your feelings take over; use your brain and common sense as well. This will help you to make smart decisions about romance and catch yourself before you repeat the same mistakes you've made before.

7 Take Responsibility

Finally, take responsibility for yourself and improving your romantic life. It's all too easy to blame the guys you date, but thinking that it's always someone else's fault won't change anything. You make choices in a relationship, so learn to make the right ones. Or you'll never break the cycle.

It can take a lot of time and thought to understand why you keep making the same mistakes with men, but it's worthwhile taking the trouble to do so. That will help you make better choices in the future. What mistakes do you always make with men?

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