Weird Thoughts πŸ’­ It's Totally πŸ’― Okay to Have when You're a Couple πŸ’ ...

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When you've been with your partner for any length of time, things start getting … weird.

You do things you never thought you'd do, such as hang out and pee while your partner's getting ready or occasionally use your boo's toothbrush.2

You also start thinking strange thoughts – and that's okay.

It's more than okay, in fact – it's normal.

Your mileage may vary because these weird thoughts are my weird thoughts, so let me formally invite you to share your weird thoughts, too!

1. Which One of Us is Going to Die First?

Which One of Us is Going to Die First?

I wonder about this all the time.

I think it will be Heather because she drives like a Masshole on PCP sometimes.

2. What if We Have Stupid Kids?

What if We Have Stupid Kids?

I worry about this, too, not because we're stupid – we're both terribly smart, ah thank you – but, well, one of us may or may not have a semi-stupid sibling.2

3. If We Split up, Who Gets the Dogs?

If We Split up, Who Gets the Dogs?

I do.

I get the dogs.

4. What if I like Our Pets Better than Our Children?

What if I like Our Pets Better than Our Children?

This is a horrible thought to have, I know that, but my kid, at least, is practically guaranteed to be a little hellspawn from birth, whereas my dachshund is charming and funny and adorable and he's my best friend.2

5. Who's Going to Look Hotter when We're Old?

Who's Going to Look Hotter when We're Old?

Probably Heather, to be honest.

I'm going to be an old lady with resting bitch face.

6. What if One of Us Becomes Incontinent?

What if One of Us Becomes Incontinent?

Do you love your partner enough to ride or die like this?

Do I?!

(Yes.

Yes, I do … but, man, I hope that never happens.)

7. Do I Have to Listen to the Same Stories Forever?

Do I Have to Listen to the Same Stories Forever?

Answer: probably, yeah.

At least until death do you part, or you break up, or whatever.

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