Learning how to tell your boyfriend you cheated is nerve-wrecking. It can make you physically sick just thinking about it, right? You've done the deed though; now it's time to 'fess up, time to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him. Cheating is not good, it can cause a lot of pain, hurt and downright anger. It happens though and if you are guilty of cheating, you've got to figure out the right ways to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him, instead of skirting the issue.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. Keep Calm
When you are trying to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him, you've got to make sure that you stay calm. This means not getting into hysterics and crying – right away. That can probably come later, but you want to stay calm at first, because truthfully, this is something that you did and you have to own up to it.
***
Approaching the conversation with a level head is crucial. It demonstrates maturity and a willingness to handle the situation responsibly. Be honest and direct, but also be prepared for his reaction. Remember, you're initiating a dialogue that could significantly impact the relationship. Own your actions with integrity. Clarity and sincerity in your words can pave the way for a more constructive and respectful conversation, despite the difficult subject matter.
2. Don't do It in Public
Never, ever try to defuse the situation or manipulate his response by doing it in public. While his reaction might not be the best in the world, you've got to face it. You've got to make sure to tell your boyfriend you cheated in private. It's a private matter and no matter how he reacts, he has the right to find out in private versus in public.
***
Confronting such a delicate issue in a public setting can lead to unnecessary humiliation and pressure, potentially exacerbating the situation. You want to ensure that you both have the space to express your feelings openly and without the constraint of public judgement. Remember that a private setting allows for honest dialogue and a chance for both of you to process the news without outside interference. It’s about respect—both for your partner's feelings and for the gravity of the conversation you need to have.
Frequently asked questions
3. Tell Him in Person
While you don't want to tell him about the situation in a public place, don't take the easy way out and tell him via text, email or social media. There is nothing worse than finding out that you've been cheated on through others!
***
Telling him in person not only shows respect but also allows for an immediate, genuine exchange between the two of you. It will likely be uncomfortable, but face-to-face conversations mean you can convey your remorse through your expressions and tone. This approach also gives him space to react and ask questions, something that digital communications simply can't provide. Remember, honesty and integrity matter, even when the conversation is incredibly tough. Maintain eye contact and be prepared for a range of emotions; it's part of taking responsibility and starting the healing process, no matter the outcome.
4. Be Honest
When you are dealing with cheating, you've got to be upfront and honest with your boyfriend. You want to make sure you tell your boyfriend you cheated as honestly as possible. How long ago was it, what night was it, who was it with? These are all questions that he is going to ask about and you want to make sure that you can be honest about them.
5. Be Outright
When you do finally find a way to tell your boyfriend you cheated, be direct and outright. You don't want to beat around the bush and just mention that you have something to talk to him about. You want to make sure that you are totally outright with him. Just tell him that you cheated, spit it out.
6. Have a Plan
As you figure out how to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him, you want to make sure you have a plan. Don't do it after a nice dinner and just before you part ways. Instead, why not just go over to his house, be direct and open and just tell him. Have a plan, but make sure that the plan includes you being forthright.
7. Apologize
This step might seem really obvious but when there are a lot of emotions involved, we can easily forget. Apologize to him and let him know that what you did was wrong and that there is no excuse for what you did. Even if there was something lacking in the relationship, going behind his back wasn't the right thing to do.
8. Be Prepared
After you tell your boyfriend you cheated, be prepared to answer some hard questions. He's going to want to know who, what, when, where, how and why you cheated. This will be a tough conversation to have so be prepared to answer all of his questions and listen to him, it's only right.
9. Realize You Hurt Him
Girls, you have to understand that when you are learning how to tell your boyfriend you cheated on him and you finally spit it out, you are going to hurt him. It is just something natural, something that is going to happen. You hurt him. You're going to hurt him and there might not be anything that you can do to make him feel better.
10. Understand He Might Need Time
Girls, another thing that you'll need to understand when you are telling your boyfriend you cheated on him is that he might need time. He might need time away from you, time to separate from you, time that you aren't around. You have to give him it, no matter how hard it is.
11. Give Him Space
Being cheated on is a big deal and it's very unlikely that he'll be able to process and over something like that in a matter of hours or a few days. In addition to giving him time away from you in person, don't contact him for awhile. Constantly calling or texting him to apologize or cry might not be as helpful as it might seem.
12. Leave Friends out
Another thing that might sound like a good idea that might actually backfire is to get your friends involved. Sending your friends to talk to him or asking his friends how to get him back most likely won't help, at least not in the very beginning.
13. Be Understanding
Being cheated on is a horrible thing to go through, so be understanding. Once you've given him some time and you wish to salvage the relationship, talk to him. Be open about your relationship, what might have been lacking and keep the lines of communication open.
I understand that there are circumstances that happen and situations that you might find yourself in, but telling your boyfriend you cheated on him is going to be hard. Very hard. Do you girls have any other ways to tell your boyfriend you cheated that you have used?
Comments
TRCIII: Deny, deny, deny. If you've already gotten away with it...and it isn't your intent to use this incident as an excuse to end the relationship...what can you possibly gain by telling him except assuaging your own guilty conscience? There is no upside to this scenario of brutal honesty.
UnaBear: Two things that I don't see anywhere in this discussion that I think are important: 1) Understanding **why** you cheated before you confess is critical, because that is the first question I would ask the cheater. Next question would be: 2) What do you want from the relationship going forward? I am male. I had a girlfriend who cheated repeatedly, in different ways, over the course of a 4 year relationship. I was desperately in love with her, but the best thing I ever did for myself was say "no" when she wanted me back. If someone cheated on me again, it would be the end - no question. Life is too short, there are so many great people in the world. Just not worth the continuous doubt and distrust. Move on - its over! Cheers
Ashley: I know this was posted a while ago. However this has recently become prevalent in my life... Should I really tell him? He just gave me a promise ring and we will be moving in together this summer and I don't want things to change... But at the same time I know I messed up and I can't have my cake and eat it too. Help?
Tori: Try and avoid to tell him over the phone or through a text or email etc. it's always best to do it face to face. It just looks even worse if you do it over the phone unless your in a long distance relationship then you kinda have to. Also try and tell him as soon as possible never wait..makes it worse.
Rebecca: All of this is very helpful tip's but how am i suppose to tell my boyfriend in person and he is in prison i mean . Kinda hard situation here
Louise: A good tip - don't do it in the first place and then nobody will have to go through the trauma!
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge