It's always fun to see your family. Of course, it's not as much fun answering their annoying questions about your personal life. They just don't know when to mind their own business--but that's okay, because here are a few comebacks to pesky questions every woman is asked around the holiday season:
"When Beyonce agrees to be the egg donor." That way, you'd have kids with the best genes around.
"If I did, who would all my married friends live through vicariously?"After all, it pays to be the only single girl left in the group.
"Private." That should put them in their place.
"Because I want my cat to grow up in a stable environment." It's better to raise your cat on your own than to raise her with a man you can't get along with.
"No. I'm just having a severe allergic reaction from you." That should send them running.
"Name one married superhero. Exactly." Sometimes, it's easier to flourish in other areas of life when you don't have a relationship to deal with.
"Yes. I got it in prison." They're treating you like you're a criminal for getting some ink, so you might as well play the role.
"When are you getting divorced?" Both questions are pretty personal.
"I see dead people." Make sure you whisper this in the creepiest voice that you can.
"I’d like you to mind your own business." Your family is rarely as good at matchmaking as they think they are.
"When your hubby told you he was on a business trip." This one will only work if a family friend says it to you. Otherwise, you're promoting incest.
"You should be less nosy." Be blunt by telling them they need to mind their own business.
"Not as good as my sex life." This doesn't mean you have one-night stands. It just means you masturbate.
"When you get a better toupee." It's rude to talk down about someone's job, so this rude comeback is justified.
"Why? We’re family, we can’t date!" Act like the person was hitting on you, and they won't know what to say.
"When I feel like it." This is the honest answer, isn't it? You're not going to get married until the time is right. You'll let them know when that is. They don't have to keep asking.
"I'm waiting until they figure out a way for men to do it." Why should you have to push a baby out of your body? If science allows men to do it, then you'll get off easy.
If you use these comebacks, your relatives should stop being so nosy. Just make sure that they know you're being playful, because you don't want to start a big fight. What question do you hate being asked the most?
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