Some relationships end and people move on. But sometimes there is this awkward situation when two people realize that maybe ending their relationship wasn’t the best for them. There might be some left over feelings that leads both of them to reconsider their relationship. And there comes the question: Should you go back to your ex or move on? There are pros and cons to both situations. Here are some things to consider before making your decision.
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1. The Reason the Relationship Ended
Look back and think about the reason that caused you to end this relationship. Was it a simple fight or was it a deeper problem? If this was a fight and you both reacted out of feelings of anger then maybe giving another chance is not such a bad idea. But if there was a bigger problem then you need to find out if the problem is still there or not. If the problem is no longer an issue then going back to the relationship might be easier. But if the problem is still there, then there is probably no point to return to the relationship.
2. Communication
The communication between the two parties of a couple is an important factor to any relationship. Think about how good your communication was before. If you are planning to give a second chance to your relationship, you need to ensure that your communication is even better than before. You need to talk to each other, even if it is uncomfortable and share your concerns and fears about this new start. That way your relationship will be better than before.
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3. Lust
Love in a romantic relationship is important. But it is not enough. There has to be a physical craving for the other person. There has to be a desire to physically engage with the other person. If that craving has left the building and that was why the relationship had ended in the past then there are two chances. One, this lust and desire will come back with the second chance you will give to your relationship and two, this desire will never come back. Figure out if there is lust or not before you agree to go back. Unless of course, lust is not important to you so you can skip that part.
4. Trust
If the relationship ended because someone’s trust was shattered then this is not a thing you can get back easily. Trust is hard to rebuild. Think long and hard if your trust of him and his trust of you is strong or else there is no point to re-enter a relationship that will be full of doubts and anxiety. Make sure that both of you trust each other or else there will be conflict.
5. Old Wounds
A breakup leaves wounds behind that take time to heal and sometimes they never heal. If you enter a relationship where old wounds will keep resurfacing, it won’t be a good idea because you will keep having the same argument over and over again. Before you agree on the second chance to your relationship make sure that both of you are healed from those old wounds and negative feelings your previous relationship left behind.
6. Make Sure You Have the Right Feelings for Him
There is a chance your relationship ended because you were no longer in love. If you were together long, you might start missing him even if you know that you don’t love him anymore. Make sure to figure out your feelings before you go back. Did you really stop loving him and now that you spent some time apart you realized you still love him? Or are you just frustrated because you were used to having him around and you confuse this feeling with love?
7. The Reason to Go Back
Are you going back for the right reasons? Do you love him? Or are you just afraid of being alone? Those are very important questions to answer before you give your relationship with your ex another chance. And, make sure that your partner is also entering this renewed relationship for the right reasons.
Every relationship is different. So no one can answer for sure if going back to your ex is a good or a bad idea. Surely there are many things to consider before going back. The truth is that in this case, you can read many articles, you can discuss with your friends and analyze it for hours but the decision is yours and yours alone. Relax, think about it and give it time. In the end, you will figure it out.