Let’s face it, men can captivate us with a dazzling smile or a flirtatious wink, but how do you know whether or not you’re wasting your time on him? Have no fear ladies, I’m here to share the signs that you’re down right just wasting your time on him. I was interested in someone who checked off each of these points and as much as it hurts to say it, I’ve moved on and feel free that I’m not longer wasting my time on him.
This tip was generously shared by one of our readers, Kells. Thanks Kells!
If a guy is interested in a relationship with you, he will want to introduce you to his friends. He needs to know that you will get along with them and that they approve of you. If you haven't met any of his friends, it's likely he's not serious about keeping you around long term.
Please feel free to add your own point at the end of the post. We'd love to hear from you!
The biggest sign that you’re wasting your time on him is if you have not even been asked out on a date yet. If you just met the guy a few days ago, give it some time, obviously. But if you’ve been messaging back and forth for a while now or maybe you have mutual friends with him and see him out and about, it should be a red flag that he hasn’t made a move to ask you out yet.
It’s healthy to be cordial with ex’s, but staying in touch with them, hanging out with them, buying presents for them, and spending important holidays with them…well, that’s another flag right there. The guy I was getting to know better did all the above, and worse, he posted pictures on social media NOT KNOWING that I knew that was his ex. HUGE flag for me, huge. I still talk with guys I’ve dated before, but he took it to a whole other level. YIKES.
Before finding out he was “catching up” with his ex and “just hanging out”, I had already experienced signs of not feeling wanted by him. It seemed like every time I expressed my quirky, bubbly, fun side (that I’m really proud of because it defines who I am) I just felt like he smiled and brushed it off, like he didn’t really care about me for me. BIG NO-NO, girl…you deserve to feel wanted.
Piggy-backing on the last point, I just felt like I couldn’t even be myself around him. My gut feeling was telling me not to open up to him, not to be myself around him, and not to let him in. It’s easy to fall in love with the idea of being with someone, which is why most women ignore these signs and keep pursuing their crush. The less I felt like I could be myself around him, the more encouraged I was to leave him in the dust.
Jealousy is an ugly feeling, my dear, an ugly feeling. If there are surges of anger bottled up inside you because you feel that you can’t trust him or that you’re questioning his every move, stop wasting your time on that man, because your health and sanity is worth more than feeling stuck in a relationship of questioning and doubt and insecurity. Your man should make you feel loved and wanted and special and you should feel respect and trust towards him.
If your relationship with your crush is more physical than emotional or if it’s built more around you talking about yourself and him just sitting there listening but not ever contributing to the relationship, it’s yet another red flag. Using my ridiculous experience as a testimony, I found myself talking a lot more about me than he was talking about himself. I felt like it was a one way street with him. So not worth my time.
Not every relationship is perfect, I get that and I know that. But when you’re with someone who really cares about you and who really wants to get to know you better, he’s going to put a lot of effort in making sure that you’re feeling like a priority. Think about the one guy who you’re so not into (either because you think of him as a brother, or a creep) but who is completely infatuated with you. He tries hard to make you priority, doesn’t he? It might annoy you or push you further away from him, but he’s trying. Why should it be any different with the guy who you like who actually likes you back? Think about it.
Hands down if you’re finding yourself being the one to ask him out on a date or asking him to meet you at the movies or asking him to be your gym partner, then he’s not worth your time. Again, it goes back to what I said about a one-way street. You shouldn’t always be the one initiating things.
Actions speak louder than words. We all know this. If you are feeling upset by the messages that go unnoticed or unanswered, stop wasting your time on him. Internalize that you are worth so much more than a boy who is just dragging you around for his own entertainment. Last sappy part about my testimony is that I used to receive “miss you” messages all the time and days would go by without any follow up messages or “let’s hang out” messages.
Follow your gut. Ultimately that's what it comes down to. If after reading this article you feel angry or confused because you know, deep down, that you're not meant to be with the person that you're trying to get to know better, then take this as a sign. It's better to stop wasting time on someone in the relationships' infancy stage rather than date, build up years together (which may end up being more miserable than happy) and then break things off. Be smart, follow your inner guide, and know that you're loved no matter what decision you make. What signs made you realize that you were done wasting your time on your crush?
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