As someone currently navigating the quirky dating waters of 2024, spotting a womanizer can feel like finding a needle in a haystack. But fear not! By the end of this read, you'll be a detective in identifying those red flags faster than you can say, "Check, please!"
Now, speaking from some college-educated wisdom—and more than a few espresso-fueled late-night conversations—let's dive into the world of these elusive charmers. I had this ex-boyfriend once, let’s call him Chad. Chad was the epitome of a womanizer. Charming, attentive, and always ready with a grand gesture...until he wasn't. So trust me, I know a thing or two about the constant texting and unfathomable excuses that come with this territory.
First thing's first: flattery. Yes, it's always nice to be complimented, but when it’s a constant stream of impeccable praise, your radar should be buzzing. You might wonder, "Is this for real?" I remember Chad telling me more times than I can count that I had the most amazing smile—and believe me, my smile's alright, but not that mesmerizing!
Next up, be wary of his inability to commit. A true womanizer will dodge serious commitment like it's the plague. He’ll use spectacularly vague phrases like, "I'm just enjoying life right now," or "I need to find myself," which are really just euphemisms for, "I'm keeping my options open." True story: Chad perpetually had "work trips" that coincidentally aligned with major relationship milestones (birthday, anyone?).
Here's a telltale sign: His phone is more protected than Fort Knox. If he often retreats to the bathroom with his phone or flips it over when you're nearby, red flag alert! My experience with Chad? Let's just say I had to make peace with the fact that his phone was viewed more frequently than I was.
In addition to being evasive, a womanizer often leads a disappearing act. One minute, he's all about YOU, and the next, he's vanished into thin air, claiming some elaborate mission. Remember flaky excuses? They come attached with personalized disappearing acts. Trust me, I've seen Chad's magical vanishing tricks enough to star in "Now You See Me."
So, as we further explore the 13 warning signs that can help you identify a womanizer, brace yourself for some relationship epiphanies. We'll delve into everything from his overactive social life to his suspicious behavior post-midnight, giving you the superhero ability to spot these signs upfront. This year of 2024, let’s not let the charm blind us—stay sharp, laugh a lot, and keep a microscope handy for those too-good-to-be-true moments. Ready to embark on this journey together? Let’s do it!
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1. The Way He Picks You up
One of the easiest signs he's a womanizer is the way he picks you up. The guy you deserve is someone who is sincere and humble when he talks to you. Shyness is endearing when it comes to guys because it gives a woman a sense of confidence. The womanizer is the alpha male who name drops everyone he knows, talks about the car he drives, and says the sleaziest pick up lines you can think of, such as "I'm going to make your night, pretty lady." An abundance of jewelry around his neck and bright peacock clothing are major signs that you need to take off!
***
In contrast, a genuine man often displays authenticity in his approach. He genuinely wants to learn about who you are, rather than impress with superficial boasts. He might share a funny anecdote to break the ice or ask you insightful questions, showing a deep interest in your thoughts and experiences. A womanizer, on the other hand, often ignores the subtleties of a real connection. His focus is to charm and disarm, using well-rehearsed lines that feel more like a performance than an interaction. His eyes constantly on the move, he may even get distracted by other potential conquests, proving that his initial attention was never truly yours to begin with.
2. His Words Don't Equal His Actions
Girls, we have all dated that guy who makes promises he never fulfills, right? The one who tells you he likes you, wants to introduce you to his family, and promises to take you out to all these places, but none of that really seems to come to fruition. This is a major sign he is a womanizer. If he isn't taking his time out for you, he either is spending it with someone else or is just not that interested. Find yourself someone who jumps at the chance to be with you!
Frequently asked questions
A womanizer is a person who engages in numerous casual sexual affairs with women and often makes promises of love without intending to keep them.
Common signs include charming but insincere compliments, avoiding serious commitment, being secretive about his life, having a history of many short-term relationships, and being overly concerned with his appearance.
It can be tough to tell, but a sincere person will typically be consistent in their actions and words, make time for you, introduce you to friends and family, and show respect for your feelings. A womanizer may not do these things.
Yes, but it's not easy. A womanizer has to genuinely want to change and be willing to work on understanding and modifying his behavior. This usually requires self-reflection and sometimes professional help.
Evaluate whether the relationship meets your needs and if you're truly happy. It's important to have open conversations about your concerns, set boundaries, and consider if this relationship is healthy for you. Seeking advice from trusted friends or a professional can also be helpful.
3. Only Wants to See You Late at Night
In my opinion, this is the number one warning sign he is a womanizer. When you aren't receiving phone calls, texts, or emails anytime before ten at night, he only has one thing on his mind. A guy who wants to be with you will make it clear to you, and by that I mean he will ask you to go on a hike, or a lunch date, or send you a smiley face asking about your day. A womanizer asks you where you are at, and if you want to "hang out." Don't take that text, because he is interested in more than what it says. Any plan after the sun is down that wasn't made previously is the easiest way to tell if you are dealing with the typical womanizer.
4. Over Compliments You
Yes ladies, we all love to hear how funny, beautiful, and amazing we are, but we also know if a guy overdoes it then it becomes a bit sketchy. When a guy looks deep into your eyes and sincerely tells you he cares about you and that you are beautiful, it's a weak in the knees moment. But I want you to think of the rule, "a guy will say what he needs to say to get into your pants." The moment the guy highlights every aspect of your appearance and personality more than 5 times in a conversation, it's a top sign he is a womanizer.
5. Never Calls You after You Hook up
This is one of the most common loser moves a guy can pull on a girl. They make us fall for them, and then we spend a night with them, and next thing you know he disappears, never to be heard from again. The best thing to do is stop wasting your energy thinking about it and move on. He clearly wanted one thing from you, and it's a waste he didn't see what he's missing.
***
If a guy can't pick up the phone to check in after getting intimate, he's showing his indifference to your feelings. It's a classic hallmark of a womanizer to ignore a woman after getting what he wants. Remember, you deserve someone who values you for more than just a physical connection. His silence speaks volumes about his lack of respect and intention. Hold your head high and recognize that his behavior isn't a reflection of your worth, but rather his lack of character. Don't let his callousness dull your sparkle.
6. Social Media
I am sad to admit it but the time I spend on my computer is used to listen to music, check my email, and mainly stare at social media sites. When a guy I'm dating is friends with me online, I check to see what his photos and wall look like. If there are a bunch of girls commenting, saying things like, "I had so much fun with you last night, we need to do it again!" then it's a huge red flag. When he is responding to them or asking them to hang out, it's a double red flag. This shows he really isn't interested in me, he is just interested in hanging with the girl population.
***
Continuing to snoop on his social accounts gives me insight into who he is outside of our time together – and not always in a good way. If every selfie he posts is swarmed with flirty comments and he's quick to like and reply with winky faces or suggestive emojis, that's my cue that he's spreading his attention far too thin for comfort. It's not just paranoia speaking – observing how someone conducts themselves virtually can be very telling about their real-life intentions and relationship ethics.
7. Has Been Single a Long Time
Some guys who don't want to be in a relationship are either afraid of commitment or don't want to be tied down. In both cases they enjoy flirting, dating, and leading many women on. When you're getting to know a guy that you are interested in, find out his past history on relationships. If he has been single for a few years, or tells you he isn't looking for anything serious, that is a sign he is a womanizer. However, if he has a history of relationships lasting from 6 months or more, go for it, girls. That one is definitely an available option.
***
guys who don't want to be in a relationship are either afraid of commitment or don't want to be tied down. In both cases they enjoy flirting, dating, and leading many women on. When you're getting to know a guy that you are interested in, find out his past history on relationships. If he has been single for a few years, or tells you he isn't looking for anything serious, that is a sign he is a womanizer. However, if he has a history of relationships lasting from 6 months or more, go for it, girls. That one is definitely an available option.
It's crucial to be cautious, as guys who have long stints of being single might be used to a carefree lifestyle and find it challenging to transition into a committed relationship. Look out for patterns in their past like short, frequent flings. Their behavior often speaks volumes about their intentions. If his past is filled with brief encounters rather than meaningful relationships, it might be time to reconsider. Being aware of his history can save you from heartache.
8. He is a Flirt
Of course we all know it is human nature for men to check out women. The wandering eye is okay as long as it doesn't wander away too long. However, if you are out with a man and he is paying more attention to the other women in the room than he is to you, that's a major warning sign. When a guy you are with goes over and flirts with girls in front of you, or has a conversation with them longer than yours was, it's time to let this loser go. He isn't interested in being tied down, he is interested in playing the field. Make sure you are the number one priority for any guy you are with.
***
Being a natural charmer doesn't excuse disrespectful behavior. If his lighthearted banter and compliments are not exclusive to you when you're supposed to be the center of his attention, it's not just playful—it's problematic. A real connection is about valuing the person you're with, not scanning the room for the next best thing. If he's not giving you the respect and focus you deserve, chances are, he's not the one. You deserve someone who sees and appreciates you, not someone whose eyes are constantly roving.
9. He's a Socialite
Guys who can always be found at the local bar or dance club, and rarely ever miss a weekend or weeknight without going to one, are most likely womanizers. They hang out at these places because they're not looking for anything intimate. They prefer to be in jumping social spots with lots of women. They like to be exposed to multiple women at one time, where dancing and drinking likely occur and they can indulge in it all.
10. He's Constantly Apologizing
If your guy is always apologizing for not calling you or seeing you, this isn't normal, girls. He's apologizing because he is trying to prevent an argument and to keep you catching him in the act. He's also trying to soften your guard by making you feel bad that he's having to apologize. If he's always apologizing and never changing, take your sign!
11. He Doesn't Call You by Your Name
Does your guy call you "baby," "sweetheart," and "gorgeous," instead of using your name? If you haven't been dating him long, he's probably a womanizer. Many men do this not only to make women swoon, but also to make them feel more wanted or to seem more personal. In reality, he does this because these names are easier to remember than the individual names of the long list of girls he's been talking to.
***
This tactic also serves a more manipulative purpose: it's a way to dodge the risk of calling someone by the wrong name. It's particularly telling if he slips up and mixes these terms of endearment with other folks when you're around—proof that these placeholders are not unique to you. Moreover, pay attention to how he addresses other women. If it turns out he has a 'special' nickname for every lady in his phonebook, it's not just a quirky habit—it's a red flag waving in your face, urging you to reassess his intentions.
12. He Won't Let You Meet His Family
If he holds you back from meeting his family, it could be because he's a womanizer. This isn't always the case, but if a guy doesn't want you in his personal life or want his family to know you just yet, there might be a reason.
13. He Makes Sex Jokes a Lot
This is one trait I truly hate in men. It's not only disrespectful, but such a sign he's a womanizer! Don't let your guy do this in front of you. Confront him about it, and ask him why he feels the need to fill all your conversations with crude remarks about sex and women.
All in all, the man described above doesn't sound like anyone you would want to be with, so why even waste your time dealing with it? Save yourself the energy, and stay clear of that guy before he takes up any of your precious time. All you need to remember are these 13 warning signs he's a womanizer and before you know it, you'll land yourself a good hearted stud instead. How many experiences have you had dealing with a womanizer?
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My boyfriend doesn't want me handling his phone and doesn't want to give his facebook password to me. Although this has been his behavior from the beginning, it bothers me sometimes thinking that he might be hiding something. Is this move considered cheating? Or is it just a part of guy's nature? Need some opinions here thanks.
So true about the name calling part
Hey guys! I don't know what to do! I met this guy at a party at school through my two friends that are a couple. The girlfriend goes to the same school as the boy that I am somewhat talking to and her and her boyfriend introduced me to the guy. We met at a party at my college after he drove down to party with his best friend from home who was a girl on the volleyball team. We introduced ourselves to one anther and didn't really speak until later in the night when he decided to speak to me and ask me to dance after I saw him staring at me on the fridge for like a half an hour. He asked me to dance and we danced for an hour and a half straight. Then he asked me to go outside. He told me to go down and visit him at his college then he asked me for my number and I gave him a bs story and didn't give it to him because I was kind of intoxicated and I didn't know him that well. But after speaking to my friends who introduced us, they said that he was a really good guy and to give him a chance. SO I gave him my number and we danced and made out at the party. (he may or may not have been my first kiss) Anyways, ha we ended the night with a hug and then I saw him the next morning when I said goodbye to my friends and he just gave my a little head nod. So it was kind of awkward. He never texted me until 2 weeks later and during that time, my friend who goes to school with him kept on telling me that he was going to call/text me, but it took him two weeks. He texted me at 10 am during a class and we talked for the whole day straight and sent at least 300 texts back and forth. Then he called me on the phone and talking to him was like magic. I had not smiled so much before like that in long time. Or even ever seeing as to how was the first guy for me to actually like like this. We talked for a consistent 4 days. And this four days we played 20 questions where he managed to bring up sex 3 times:had I ever had sex? what did i think of it? and would i keep it until marriage. I answered him with a no, its natural and meant to happen, but i havent done it at all and an "I don't know" then he told me that he respected me what I thought. I told him thank you. Then I asked him what he thought and he said that likes sex but it is not the only thing on his mind and that in a relationship, you have to like and respect the person then sex can come later. SO i thought alright, this guy seems genuine. But as the days went on, he kept on telling me to see him at his school while he has a car and I don't. We were all going to go to a party 3 hours away as I invited to come and he was willing to come, but when it came time to "hanging out" with me, he told me that I should see and that he couldn't drive because of work the next day. So I was so mad at him and he was just being so stubborn. So i told him i felt sick and i would text him the next day. I didn't and then he texted me the day after i was supposed to text him and he asked why i dont like him anymore trying to make me feel bad for not talking to him then I made him feel bad once he found out I was in bed sick the whole day. Then he told me to feel better. Didnt talk to me for the rest of the day and I realized that things were just getting to awkward. Then I decided why not try to see what he was after. So I invited him up to hang for the weekend at my school for some parties that were going to happen. He wasn't sure if he was going to come because he had work but then he said the would try his hardest because he really wanted to see me. SO he went all of this past Saturday without texting me and i asked him if he was going to still come down to see me and he told me that he didnt know because he was still at work. He had work from 6am to 8 well that is what he told me. But then my friend who goes to school with him that introduced us told me that he got out at 730 and was going to bring her so that she could see her boyfriend. So i asked her if should call him and she said well he just called and told me that he had work till 9 but when i asked he said that he didn't know. So i messaged him and told him to do what had to do but it would be cool to see him. Then later on that night my friend told me that the guy and her just left and that they were on their way. However when he texted my back to the it would be great to see you he said "really" and i said yes and he said "then i will come". WHat??????? Why the two different stories? He came late, was flirting with the checkin girl infront of me and not infront of me. I went and hugged all my guy friends who hugged me and stayed quiet. Took him to a party was shutting down due to him being late, he complained about my school being whack and lame parties and that I should go to his school and his parties because they are awesome. I was getting annoyed with him. Brought him around my friends, they talked about sports and stuff. They got along, we got tired, went back to my room and on the way my hallmate and friend walked by with a tank top on and he said "damn look at her titties" (he is a foreigner may I add). I looked at him and just kept walking he apologized. I was like whatever. I was tired and sobering up and was about to make him sleep on my rug. Then we got to my room and he sat next to me and asked me how my week was and he began to hold me. Then all the problems i saw before were gone. I thought maybe things were okay, then he got up took his clothes off. (just his flannel shirt and tight jeans and he had clothes on underneath) so i did not think it was a big deal till he got up again and pulled out his chapstick. I thought really? I know what is going to happen now. I was then distant from him and then he bit my ear and we just made out for 2 hours straight. He tried to get me to touch him "there" three times and i wasn't with it then he could tell and he stopped me held my face and looked into my eyes and said "i will not force you into anything you dont want' to do. all i want to do is make you comfortable. tell me and we can stop." i told him that i wasn't going to have sex with him and he told me okay that is absolutely fine. We kept on making out then we talked. We got very deep and he told me alot of things that i was not expecting. He got personal and I thought that was good sign. I began to understand him more then i managed to listen to his heart and it was beating so fast and i asked why and said that is was because of me and i thought at first he is just playing around and then as i listened again, his heartbeat began to get slow down as he was looking into my eyes telling me that his was going fast because of me. I didn't know what to say and he began making fun of me and mocking me trying to get me to laugh. Then we fell asleep spooning holding hands and his arms around me so that i could fall asleep in his arms. The next morning spooned more and made out alot more and were very close to doing it. 3 hours later he put his head on my chest and said that my heart was telling so many secrets but two being that i was crazy and a liar because i had not honest answer for how i felt about him. He cuddled for a half hour. we talked. He brought his ex and told me they broke up right before school because of long distance but still remained good friends. I don't know what to think about him...he was distant we he said goodbye with a kiss and drove off leaving me with the words of "i will text you and let you know what is going on. bye". I am dazed and confused. what do i do? wait or move on?
I do agree with her. #7 is kind of wrong in my opinion. I know this kid I like that hasn't had a girlfriend in awhile but he likes me and that doesn't make him a player or a bad person. That makes him a good guy.
test comment
I am sorry but I feel I must say that I have issues with #7. I am glad when I went back I see it does say "Most guys". I think there is way to much of an all guys this and all guys that mind set that is no more fair then guys saying all women this or that. just because a guy is single a long time does not mean he is a bad guy or damaged in some way. I know a guy that is in his 40's and never been married but is super nice (and good looking). he admits he dwelt on the hurt of some lost "loves" (I don't know just how serious) to long. He has also said that he has never liked dating more than one girl at a time because it makes him feel like he is lying to some one so that has limited him too. All I know is that by this sort of standard women would aviod him. Knowing him a little if I were a single girl ... our limited conversation would be much more serious!
Oh snap ... He is ... This was Very insightful !
Pretty good article, I have to say. The author has probably had her share of losers! I would call myself an ex-player. I did all this stuff in my younger years, but it reaches a point where you get diminishing returns.
Comments
maxiecarm:My boyfriend doesn't want me handling his phone and doesn't want to give his facebook password to me. Although this has been his behavior from the beginning, it bothers me sometimes thinking that he might be hiding something. Is this move considered cheating? Or is it just a part of guy's nature? Need some opinions here thanks.
Jiya:So true about the name calling part
Patty:Hey guys! I don't know what to do! I met this guy at a party at school through my two friends that are a couple. The girlfriend goes to the same school as the boy that I am somewhat talking to and her and her boyfriend introduced me to the guy. We met at a party at my college after he drove down to party with his best friend from home who was a girl on the volleyball team. We introduced ourselves to one anther and didn't really speak until later in the night when he decided to speak to me and ask me to dance after I saw him staring at me on the fridge for like a half an hour. He asked me to dance and we danced for an hour and a half straight. Then he asked me to go outside. He told me to go down and visit him at his college then he asked me for my number and I gave him a bs story and didn't give it to him because I was kind of intoxicated and I didn't know him that well. But after speaking to my friends who introduced us, they said that he was a really good guy and to give him a chance. SO I gave him my number and we danced and made out at the party. (he may or may not have been my first kiss) Anyways, ha we ended the night with a hug and then I saw him the next morning when I said goodbye to my friends and he just gave my a little head nod. So it was kind of awkward. He never texted me until 2 weeks later and during that time, my friend who goes to school with him kept on telling me that he was going to call/text me, but it took him two weeks. He texted me at 10 am during a class and we talked for the whole day straight and sent at least 300 texts back and forth. Then he called me on the phone and talking to him was like magic. I had not smiled so much before like that in long time. Or even ever seeing as to how was the first guy for me to actually like like this. We talked for a consistent 4 days. And this four days we played 20 questions where he managed to bring up sex 3 times:had I ever had sex? what did i think of it? and would i keep it until marriage. I answered him with a no, its natural and meant to happen, but i havent done it at all and an "I don't know" then he told me that he respected me what I thought. I told him thank you. Then I asked him what he thought and he said that likes sex but it is not the only thing on his mind and that in a relationship, you have to like and respect the person then sex can come later. SO i thought alright, this guy seems genuine. But as the days went on, he kept on telling me to see him at his school while he has a car and I don't. We were all going to go to a party 3 hours away as I invited to come and he was willing to come, but when it came time to "hanging out" with me, he told me that I should see and that he couldn't drive because of work the next day. So I was so mad at him and he was just being so stubborn. So i told him i felt sick and i would text him the next day. I didn't and then he texted me the day after i was supposed to text him and he asked why i dont like him anymore trying to make me feel bad for not talking to him then I made him feel bad once he found out I was in bed sick the whole day. Then he told me to feel better. Didnt talk to me for the rest of the day and I realized that things were just getting to awkward. Then I decided why not try to see what he was after. So I invited him up to hang for the weekend at my school for some parties that were going to happen. He wasn't sure if he was going to come because he had work but then he said the would try his hardest because he really wanted to see me. SO he went all of this past Saturday without texting me and i asked him if he was going to still come down to see me and he told me that he didnt know because he was still at work. He had work from 6am to 8 well that is what he told me. But then my friend who goes to school with him that introduced us told me that he got out at 730 and was going to bring her so that she could see her boyfriend. So i asked her if should call him and she said well he just called and told me that he had work till 9 but when i asked he said that he didn't know. So i messaged him and told him to do what had to do but it would be cool to see him. Then later on that night my friend told me that the guy and her just left and that they were on their way. However when he texted my back to the it would be great to see you he said "really" and i said yes and he said "then i will come". WHat??????? Why the two different stories? He came late, was flirting with the checkin girl infront of me and not infront of me. I went and hugged all my guy friends who hugged me and stayed quiet. Took him to a party was shutting down due to him being late, he complained about my school being whack and lame parties and that I should go to his school and his parties because they are awesome. I was getting annoyed with him. Brought him around my friends, they talked about sports and stuff. They got along, we got tired, went back to my room and on the way my hallmate and friend walked by with a tank top on and he said "damn look at her titties" (he is a foreigner may I add). I looked at him and just kept walking he apologized. I was like whatever. I was tired and sobering up and was about to make him sleep on my rug. Then we got to my room and he sat next to me and asked me how my week was and he began to hold me. Then all the problems i saw before were gone. I thought maybe things were okay, then he got up took his clothes off. (just his flannel shirt and tight jeans and he had clothes on underneath) so i did not think it was a big deal till he got up again and pulled out his chapstick. I thought really? I know what is going to happen now. I was then distant from him and then he bit my ear and we just made out for 2 hours straight. He tried to get me to touch him "there" three times and i wasn't with it then he could tell and he stopped me held my face and looked into my eyes and said "i will not force you into anything you dont want' to do. all i want to do is make you comfortable. tell me and we can stop." i told him that i wasn't going to have sex with him and he told me okay that is absolutely fine. We kept on making out then we talked. We got very deep and he told me alot of things that i was not expecting. He got personal and I thought that was good sign. I began to understand him more then i managed to listen to his heart and it was beating so fast and i asked why and said that is was because of me and i thought at first he is just playing around and then as i listened again, his heartbeat began to get slow down as he was looking into my eyes telling me that his was going fast because of me. I didn't know what to say and he began making fun of me and mocking me trying to get me to laugh. Then we fell asleep spooning holding hands and his arms around me so that i could fall asleep in his arms. The next morning spooned more and made out alot more and were very close to doing it. 3 hours later he put his head on my chest and said that my heart was telling so many secrets but two being that i was crazy and a liar because i had not honest answer for how i felt about him. He cuddled for a half hour. we talked. He brought his ex and told me they broke up right before school because of long distance but still remained good friends. I don't know what to think about him...he was distant we he said goodbye with a kiss and drove off leaving me with the words of "i will text you and let you know what is going on. bye". I am dazed and confused. what do i do? wait or move on?
Anonymous:I do agree with her. #7 is kind of wrong in my opinion. I know this kid I like that hasn't had a girlfriend in awhile but he likes me and that doesn't make him a player or a bad person. That makes him a good guy.
Magora:test comment
Anonymous:I am sorry but I feel I must say that I have issues with #7. I am glad when I went back I see it does say "Most guys". I think there is way to much of an all guys this and all guys that mind set that is no more fair then guys saying all women this or that. just because a guy is single a long time does not mean he is a bad guy or damaged in some way. I know a guy that is in his 40's and never been married but is super nice (and good looking). he admits he dwelt on the hurt of some lost "loves" (I don't know just how serious) to long. He has also said that he has never liked dating more than one girl at a time because it makes him feel like he is lying to some one so that has limited him too. All I know is that by this sort of standard women would aviod him. Knowing him a little if I were a single girl ... our limited conversation would be much more serious!
Anna:Oh snap ... He is ... This was Very insightful !
John:Pretty good article, I have to say. The author has probably had her share of losers! I would call myself an ex-player. I did all this stuff in my younger years, but it reaches a point where you get diminishing returns.
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