Women know very well how little men actually hear, so you're probably looking for ways to make him hear you when you talk. Sometimes, men hear only what they want to hear, no matter how many times we repeat ourselves! It’s like we’re from another planet when we talk to our men. But alas, we are all Earth bound, so how do we really get him to hear what we’re saying? Here are a few ways to make him hear you.
Our brains are hard-wired for multi-tasking. We can fix dinner while washing dishes, feeding babies, and soothing our single friend’s latest breakup simultaneously. Guys just don’t work like that. It’s important to understand that, if he’s busy, he’s not going to hear you. If he’s watching TV, playing a video game, working out, or working on the car, your words aren’t getting through to his brain. So one of the best ways to make him hear you is to wait until he's paying attention.
On the heels of the first point is this point. If you interrupt him in the middle of his activity and make him stop, he will simply wait for you to stop talking so he can go back to what he was doing. When you have an important message for him, request an audience. Ask him to set aside a specific time for the two of you. This guarantees that you’re not cutting into his activities and that you have his attention.
Guys might act rugged and tough, but they like a little honey just like we do. Be nice and you’ll get more attention, which means he will hear you better. This includes not yelling at him to hear you. When you yell at your man, he immediately tunes you out, and there’s no coming back from that. Smile at him and try to make the conversation a two-way street.
Do this one often. Guys are problem solvers. No matter how independent we act, guys still want to be the hero and save us. Let him do this every so often and you’ll find that he’s listening to you more. Ask him for help with a problem, ask him what he thinks, and ask him for specific solutions. You’ll know he’s actually hearing you without berating him with, “Did you just hear what I said?”
As women, we understand innuendos and subtleties. Men simply don’t get it. You have to be clear about what you want, because hints simply don’t work. If you want him to wash the dinner dishes, ask him directly. When a woman states, “I made this dinner, I wish I had someone to wash the dishes” the guy thinks, “Yeah it would be nice to have someone else do it.” He won’t take the hint. You have to tell him directly what you want instead of hoping he will figure it out for himself.
If possible, try to save the discussion for a time when you’re both calm. If either of you is upset, one or both of you will shut down into an anti-productive mess. Guys especially close us off when they are upset because they need time to process that emotion. Walk away until the two of you can come back with cooler heads.
We love compliments, and guys are no different. Tell him when he’s doing a great job, or when he does something you truly appreciate. Even the smallest compliment will go a long way. Does he wipe off the bathroom sink after he uses it? Tell him you appreciate his help with keeping a clean bathroom. Does he put the kids to bed at night? Tell him you appreciate the few minutes of silence alone. Everyone likes to know they are appreciated, even the toughest, gruffest guy.
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