When you're dating an introvert, there can be a lot of things that you don't know – I've scoured the internet looking for dating tips for an introvert that really makes sense and let you know exactly what you are in for. An introvert is a homebody, someone that doesn't exactly want to go out and party and hates bigger crowds. These dating tips for an introvert can really help you understand exactly what a relationship with introvert can be like!
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1. You May Have to Carry on More of the Conversation
When you are dating an introvert, you've got to remember that they don't necessarily want to talk all that much, so that means that you might have to carry on a bit more of the conversation, especially at the beginning. A lot of introverts don't like to hold conversations with people that they have a crush on. So keep that in mind when you're looking through these dating tips for an introvert!
2. You May Have to Initiate a Lot of Touching
Dating an introvert comes with a lot of initiating too, which might not be a bad thing if you are the person that likes to do the pursuing. You might have to be the one that initiates the touching and even the sex, until they get comfortable with you. Being an introvert myself, I have to have my partner initiate a lot of things.
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3. They Withdraw when They Feel Threatened
The thing with an introvert that you need to know is that when you fight with them, when they feel like you are threatening them, they are going to completely withdraw themselves from the situation and there is nothing that can get them out. For me, when I get in a fight with my partner, I cut her out completely and go somewhere. It's hard to handle, so it may take some adaptation, communication and compromise.
4. Your Social Agenda May Be Limited
Now, I am not saying that because you are with someone that is introverted, your entire social agenda is going to be wiped away. However, you've got take into consideration that your girlfriend or boyfriend might not want to go out every night of the week. They might actually want to chill out at home more often than not.
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Being mindful of their comfort zone, you can find a sweet spot that caters to both your social needs and their love for tranquility. Finding balance is key. Try planning cozy date nights in, which can be just as special as a night out. Compromise by selecting events that are more low-key or setting a time limit on social gatherings to help them feel less overwhelmed. It's about creating caring concessions that allow both of you to feel fulfilled and connected.
5. Introverts Need Time to Process
An introvert also needs a lot of time to process. They need time to process everything from a fight all the way to deep conversations that you've had with them. They need to make sure that they remember everything and have time to reflect on it. Keep that in mind!
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When dating an introvert, patience is your best friend. After deep or emotional interactions, they may seem distant, but in truth, they're in a mental sanctuary reflecting on the exchange. This contemplation is critical: it's how they arrive at deeper understanding and, ultimately, intimacy. So, if they need a quiet evening or a day away after what seems like a significant conversation or event, don't feel rejected. Instead, appreciate this as part of their process. Your sensitivity to their need for this space can deepen the connection between you.
6. Patience is a Virtue
Dating an introvert is amazing but you've got to have a lot patience. You've got to be able to give them their space and also allow them their time to process. I know that I'm difficult to deal with when I get into my own head space, but my partner deals with it beautifully!
7. Schedule Important Discussions
You don't necessarily have to hide things from an introvert, but if there is a big decision that you need to make with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you might want to schedule the time to talk it over. That way, you're giving them the time that they need to process and the time that they need to really make the decision with you.
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When planning the discussion, it might be beneficial to give your partner a heads-up about the topic in question. This advanced notice allows them to reflect and gather their thoughts beforehand. It's also considerate to choose a quiet, comfortable environment for the conversation so they can feel at ease. Remember to be patient and listen actively; introverts often communicate in a thoughtful, deliberate manner. By being empathetic and providing them with this space, you're showing respect for their introspective nature, likely leading to a more meaningful and productive dialogue.
8. Space during a Fight
Finally, space during a fight is going to be the most important thing in the world. Honestly, if you can't give your girlfriend/boyfriend time during a fight to process and to really get over whatever they need to, that's a problem.
So, now that you know exactly what an introvert needs, have you ever dated someone that is introverted? How did that go? Give us a shout in the comments!
Comments
Libby: Hey Heather, I have a question about this guy I may like. He's a coule years older than me, literally. 21, and I'm 19. He's in one of my classes and we went to a competition over the weekend, and the 9 team members and I all hung out together. This guy seems to not like really big crowds, but I don't know if that means he's an introvert. I also get the vibe that does keep more to himself. He didn't share that much about him like the rest of us on the trip. I really want to be his friend because he's rather cool and quite hilarious. But I don't want to come off as annoying. Is there a way I can get to know him more without seeming as though I'm annoying him? I would love for us to become the type of friends who hang out outside of class, but I worry that won't happen. Thanks! Audrey
Amanda: I am extremely introverted. In a lot of my past relationships, the other person(s) just did not understand that sometimes I just needed my space. I want the attention and affection, but sometimes it can just be too much when I am trying to process and think. It can be smothering and sometimes feels like I'm being attacked when I know they are only trying to help. When I'm not given time to breathe, I can become aggravated, stressed and eventually shut down.
Erica: Do u have any advice for me an introvert dating an extrovert, we fight alot because he feels guilty for wanting to hang out with him friends while I prefer to sit at home and read. We're perfect together this is only hang up, any help would much appreciated(: thanks heather(:
Cynthia: Much of this info seems to general to be very useful. You use the word "space" a lot. Do you mean physical space or quiet time? How much is required? How do give that DURING a fight?? I don't care that he doesn't want to to go to bars and parties (neither do I). There is stuff on this list I do care about and would like to resolve.
Jaiden: Hi Heather, this is some great advice but I'm still struggling in my relationship. My boyfriend is extremely introverted and when ever we get into a fight he basically disappears and that's hard for me because I need someone to talk to and help me think. It's hard for me to give him space and not mentally freak out. How do I go about talking to him and getting him to talk to me?
amber: I wish I would have found this and known i was an introvert since my ex and I broke up because I have a hard time tell Jim what's wrong as soon as something's wrong and because I broke down every time he yelled at me.
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