Looking for tips for dating an older man? Let Kay's wise post be your guide. Thanks Kay!
So, you just started dating an older man for the first time but worry that you're ill-equipped for what the relationship will entail. Fear not! Because you're already dating, it's clear that you're awesome and will be just fine, despite your age difference. If that doesn't put your nerves at ease, here are a couple tips for dating a "seasoned" Mr. Right.
1. Be Patient
One of the biggest allures for younger women dating older men is the fact that older men tend to be more established. While you initially marvel over his fancy home and career, you will quickly learn that he must work hard (and often) to pay the bills and continue climbing the corporate ladder. Sometimes, this means less attention for you and almost always means that you and bew cannot be together every waking moment. If you want to make the relationship work, you have to be understanding of his time. Don’t whine if he can’t stay up chatting with you until 4am every night. Instead, work out a schedule to ensure that you both are able to spend time with one another without compromising your individual responsibilities
2. Be Spontaneous
While this applies in any relationship, it is especially important when dating an older man. With so many different things to do every week, you don’t want to become just another «task» on his to-do list. Every now and then, stray away from the norm and add an element of spontaneity. It could be something simple like trying a new restaurant for your weekend date, or something drastic like showing up to his work place for lunch in a sexy black dress. Just keep him on his toes! He’ll thank you for it.
3. Do NOT Constantly Remind Him of Your Age Gap
If you both have agreed to begin dating, you have moved past whatever age gap you may have. It can come across as insecure (and insensitive) if you constantly remind your man that you weren't born when his favorite song was released or that you were only in elementary school when he was trying out for the high school football team. You also run the risk of making your man feel like an old man, which could be awkward for the both of you. Play it cool and keep the age jokes to a minimum.
4. Do Enjoy the Conversation
Many young women are attracted to older men because of their great conversation. This is your chance to talk about all the nerdy things your friends your age rather not talk about. Because let’s face it: most 20 year olds are not interested in talking about buying their first home, 401(k) plans or even traveling the world. This is the stuff your older man would LOVE to talk about. So, here's your chance! Let your inner nerd/responsible adult loose!
5. Do Show off Your Domestic Skills
Not to say that a woman NEEDS to know how to cook and clean in order to entice any man, but it’s certainly an attractive trait when men are looking for the woman they want to marry and raise their future families. So, show off your skills in the kitchen! Your older man is sure to appreciate it.
6. Be Supportive
Because an older man is literally in a different place in his life than you, he may eventually through some changes that you are yet to experience. Whether it’s a career change or a midlife crisis, the best thing you can do is to always remain supportive.
7. Be YOURSELF
Despite your difference in age, you both have accepted one another for who you are. Do not feel pressured to give up your «young-life» to conform to what you think your older man wants. Instead, keep being yourself and always keep an open line of communication between one another. Your bew obviously was (and still is!) attracted to your spirit, so don’t start being a different person just because he’s a little older. Remaining true to who YOU are is key.
8. Listen to Him
He's older than you, which means that he's been dating for longer than you have. He has more life experience, which doesn't necessarily make him smarter, but it does make him someone worth listening to. The next time he tells you that you're doing something wrong with your career or friends, hear him out instead of immediately getting mad. He might have wise advice to pass on.
9. Don't Move Too Quickly
When you're dating someone your own age, it could be hard to find an apartment together that you can actually afford. But if your older boyfriend has a nice house and steady income, you might be eager to move in with him. Don't rush things, just because you can. There's nothing wrong with taking things slow.
10. Show Him New Things
When you make a reference he doesn't understand, don't awkwardly move past it. Show him the TV show you were talking about, because he might end up loving it. The same goes for when he mentions something that you don't understand.
11. Remain Calm
Some of your friends and family members aren't going to approve of you dating an older man. If their acceptance is important to you, then be patient and explain to them why you love him. If it's clear that they're never going to approve, then you have to learn to not let their opinions bother you.
12. Don't Isolate Yourself
You might want to turn down every invitation to hang out with him and his friends, since they're all so much older. However, if he's the right guy for you, then he'll find a way to make you comfortable. Don't feel like his friends are judging you, because they're probably jealous that he landed such a beautiful, young woman.
13. Accept His Baggage
If you're going to date an older man, you have to understand that he has more baggage than you do, because he's so much older. If you want to be with him, you can't blame him for having an ex-wife or child. You need to be able to accept his past if you want the relationship to work.
14. Laugh at Mistakes
If someone mistakes him for your father, you need to be able to laugh it off. If you get angry whenever it happens, it suggests that you're insecure about the age difference. Just point out the person's mistake and act like nothing happened.
15. Let Him Work
If you have a part-time job that you don't really care about, you can't compare it to his career. That means you shouldn't get mad when he refuses to cancel an important meeting to have a date night. Even if you're the most important thing in his life, you can't always come first.
16. Don't Act like a Kid
No, that doesn't mean that you have to stop playing video games and blowing bubbles. It just means that you shouldn't play childish games with him. If his maturity matches his age, he won't have time for those silly things. He just wants a healthy, stable relationship.
17. Don't Be Intimidated
Don't feel like you don't measure up. You might not have a stable job or be the best kisser, but it's because you're still young. You have time to learn new things, and he can be the one to teach you.
18. Don't Give Him the Power
His age doesn't mean that he gets to make the rules. He shouldn't always be the one deciding what you'll eat and what vacation you'll go on. Relationships should be about equality. He doesn't get the upper hand just because he's a bit older.
19. Discuss the Future
You're young, so you're not used to discussing children and marriage with your partners. However, if your boyfriend is much older, those things could be on his mind. You should discuss how old you want to be when you get married so that the two of you are on the same page.
Always remember that every relationship is different and approach each one as such. The same rings true of dating an older man. Once you get into the swing of it, everything else will come natural. While these tips aren't the end all be all for every relationship, they are certainly a start when it comes to dealing with an older man. Best wishes!
This article was written in collaboration with editor Holly Riordan.