Moaning and groaning (and grabbing the sheets in your fists and screaming oh god, oh yes, yes, yes) is fabulous and all that, but this is not communicating during sex. Sure it is showing affirmation, encouragement and appreciation, but in the least intensive and least open way. Yes, it’s hard to open up to verbal communication when your legs are spread-eagled. We’re at our most sensitive and vulnerable but that’s exactly why we should be talking. We don’t do it because we’re embarrassed, feel shy, are apprehensive, don’t know what to say … But, start talking and sex becomes so much better. Encourage your lover to talk and the pleasure factor can go sky high. Here’s how:
Awkward silence is one of the worst things that can occur in the bedroom between you and a partner, so try to be as relaxed and as kind as possible, giving encouragement and positive feedback whenever necessary. Your partner will really appreciate the interaction and as a result, your intimacy will grow and the pleasure that you both feel will be much greater and much more authentic.
The heat of passion is not the best environment for you to be giving subtle hints and tips to your partner. The best way to communicate and make sure that the message has been relayed is to be a clear as possible. If you don’t like something, make it known. If you do like something, make that known too! Neither you or your lover should be trying to decode riddles during sex!
Don’t be afraid to try out different ways of communication during your intimate sessions. The art of love making is all about discovering one another and finding out through practical means what makes the other person tick, so just keep going and experimenting until you both find things that you love and that you can make a regular part of the fun!
Worries about body image are a big factor in feeling self-conscious during sex, but believe me, if your partner is already there in the bed with you, you can be sure that he thinks your body is great! Try to leave your inhibitions at the bedroom door and let your body and words communicate to your man that you want him with everything that you’ve got, it will drive him wild!
If you want to try some dirty talk, then steer clear of using the medical terminology for your fun parts. It’s kind of a boner killer and will make both of you think back to awkward sex ed lessons! Come up with fun nicknames and terms for each other’s intimate parts and areas. It makes everything less daunting and also gives you a fun intimate connection.
If you keep asking your man if he has ‘finished’ yet during sex, it will put pressure on him and make him feel like you are rushing him because you are bored. Just let nature take its course, and if you really do feel like you want things to speed up, a spot of dirty talk is always a sure fire way to get him to where he needs to be faster!
Trying dirty talk for the first time might seem silly and embarrassing, but you would be surprised at just how quickly it becomes natural and there are things that you can say that will drive him wild, as well as things that he can say to send you over the edge too!
When working on building a better connection with your current partner, it’s never a good idea to keep bringing up an ex. Even if you aren’t directly comparing them, it will definitely feel that way to him and he will become more withdrawn and introverted because of it.
Let’s be real. Sex is a sticky, messy and sometimes noisy business! We’re all mature adults here, so don’t make a big deal about any unexpected sounds that come from you or from him. The more you can brush them off and laugh about them, the better your intimate communication will be.
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