When at school and college, you can feel a bit of a freak if you don’t date or have a boyfriend. So how do you recognize signs you're not ready for a relationship?
As If you don’t have enough to worry about with classes, a part-time job and socialising with friends, there’s the expectation you should also have a boyfriend. Or maybe you’re a working girl now and all your friends have boyfriends and you’re feeling left out. The truth is there is no specific time of life or age when you’re ready for a relationship and there’s nothing wrong with realising and accepting that you’re not ready for a relationship.
Being honest about it can only benefit you long-term. Here are the signs you’re not ready for a relationship:
Relationships can be hard work. And stressful. If you’re already stressed or overwhelmed with your life, a new relationship might only add to the pressure. If you’re exceedingly busy, you’ll feel stressed by not being able to spend time with your partner. If you're not happy, having to deal with the emotions of your partner as well as your own will only add to the stress. Stress is one of the most sure fire signs you're not ready for a relationship.
You might think this is one of the signs that you are ready for a relationship. Au contraire. You might not like being single but that is not a good basis on which to start a relationship. Going into a relationship just because you don’t want to be single is just delaying dealing with things you don’t like about your life. Why do you hate being single? It will help you no end if you look at what is going on in your life that is making you unhappy and that you think will be solved by having a relationship.
This is a sign that you are not ready for a relationship because it means you are focusing on the idea of being in a relationship rather than finding a person you might have feelings for. Yes, it is nice to have someone to snuggle up to when you’re watching Netflix, or a plus one to take to a party but those are things that happen with someone you like. The person should be the focus, not the ideals of a relationship. Your #relationshipgoals should come when you’re with someone you like, not before.
Pressure to be in a relationship can come from various sources: your parents, friends, siblings, even your crush. And of course, you can put the pressure on yourself. A relationship should be a natural progression of you liking someone and them feeling the same way. Giving into the pressure to be in a relationship means starting off on the wrong foot. If it doesn’t feel natural, you’re not ready for a relationship.
So? You don’t have to follow the crowd. If your friends are all in relationships, it doesn’t mean it is right for you. While it is ok to have unicorn makeup because all your friends have it or follow Harry Styles’ Instagram because all your friends do, it is not a good idea to get into a relationship just because your friends are all hooked up. Unlike the makeup and Instagram, in a relationship feelings and emotions are involved. It is not a trend or a fad. It is real people, real life.
This is only natural. Of course, everyone is curious about what it is like to be one half of a couple. You see couples in the movies, read about them in books and see them all around you and you want to be part of that and want to experience all the things coupledom brings. But a relationship isn’t a try before you buy kind of thing. It might be something on your bucket list, but it isn’t something you can attain in the same way as ticking off somewhere you want to visit.
Many of us stumble around for many years trying to find our path in life. And many of us end up in relationships that are doomed to failure because we haven’t given any thought as to what we want from a partner. If you don’t have any goals or ideas about what you want from a relationship or haven’t given any thought as to the qualities you want in a partner, you are probably not ready to be in a relationship.
You aren’t weird or a freak if you aren’t in a relationship and the best relationships are those that happen at the right time between the right people.
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