Our culture has hammered it into our psyches that the guy is generally the one who has to take the first step in a relationship. He is expected to be the first to pursue, the first to connect, the first to ask you out on a date, get you a gift, pay on the table and pop the question. All this can get quite frustrating for an independent woman, who is actually interested in someone. You may be worried about how to send the right signals. The trick is to be subtle, yet decisive. The man should know that you want to be approached, but he shouldn’t think that you are desperate. It is not so difficult, though, once you know what to do. Here are 7 ways to show subtly that you are available.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
Successfully subscribed!
Thank you for subscribing! Check your inbox for personalized content.
1. A Smile
/filters:quality(70)/content/fc/rj/chylmdnn54c9063a281b8868257770_500x333.jpg)
Image source: data.whicdn.com
Your face contains the best clues about your level of interest in someone, and a smile is one of the most powerful and endearing statements of interest. When you smile at someone warmly, it is an invitation to develop a connection. There are no other connotations to it, and it cannot be misinterpreted. However, the key is to smile and be subtle, rather than overdoing the gesture, which can suggest desperation.
***
Your smile should be genuine; it goes without saying. A forced smile is easily recognized and can throw off the sincerity of your approach. When your smile reaches your eyes, it's an unequivocal sign of friendliness and openness. It unconsciously invites the other person to engage in conversation and find common ground. Remember, a subtle yet natural smile suggests a content and approachable individual, making you irresistibly attractive to those around you.
Not at all! As long as you’re enjoying yourself and not putting pressure on finding a relationship, it can actually make you seem more approachable and fun to be around.
Just be yourself! Show that you’re open to meeting new people, but also that you’re happy and confident on your own. Desperation usually comes from focusing too much on being with someone instead of enjoying life.
Great question! Pay attention to how you present yourself: smile often, make eye contact, and maybe even flirt a little. Just don’t come on too strong—keep it light and fun.
If you’re always the one initiating plans, or you cancel your plans to accommodate someone else, you might be too available. Take a step back and let others come to you sometimes.
It’s all about balance. Make sure you have your own life and interests, and don’t drop everything for someone else. Show that you value your time and they should too!
2. Eye Contact
/filters:quality(70)/content/px/gq/x5huelfg54c9063b3f38f433163482_500x349.jpg)
Image source: data.whicdn.com
The key to budding love or interest is not just on your lips, but equally in your eyes. Most women are not aware of just how powerful their eyes can be. To give you an idea, some cultures advise men that a woman’s eyes are a tool of hypnosis! However, like any powerful tool, you have to use your eyes smartly and carefully. When you look towards the guy you are interested in, actually look at him rather than passing your glance over, and let your eyes linger a bit. Not more than a few seconds, though. If eye contact is held for too long, it can be intimidating for the other person. The idea is to exercise restraint and be opportunistic. Someone said that as long as you have a smile and your eyes, you have little reason to worry. That’s absolutely correct. Your facial signals are amongst the best ways to show subtly that you are available.
***
To master the art of eye-contact charm, try the glance-and-look-away technique. It's a flirty classic and it speaks volumes. A quick look, paired with a shy smile or a playful wink, can boost the intrigue and communicate your interest without saying a word. Remember, it should feel as natural as possible, blending in with the flow of your conversation. You want to pull him into a tantalizing dance of glances that leaves him yearning for more—but with grace and subtlety. This silent exchange can build tension and anticipation, making your presence irresistible.
Not at all! As long as you’re enjoying yourself and not putting pressure on finding a relationship, it can actually make you seem more approachable and fun to be around.
Just be yourself! Show that you’re open to meeting new people, but also that you’re happy and confident on your own. Desperation usually comes from focusing too much on being with someone instead of enjoying life.
Great question! Pay attention to how you present yourself: smile often, make eye contact, and maybe even flirt a little. Just don’t come on too strong—keep it light and fun.
If you’re always the one initiating plans, or you cancel your plans to accommodate someone else, you might be too available. Take a step back and let others come to you sometimes.
It’s all about balance. Make sure you have your own life and interests, and don’t drop everything for someone else. Show that you value your time and they should too!
3. Read His Signals
/filters:quality(70)/content/iw/ml/qp6hkoz654c9063c4c540620266018_500x377.jpg)
Image source: data.whicdn.com
You may know your tools, but you need to be observant too. Is he responding to your eye contact? Is he smiling back at you? If you perceive interest, you already have a connection. However, it is important not to be too jumpy or over-enthusiastic. Take it slowly. Linger at the level of eye contact for a while, and see if he takes the next step. The idea is to drift closer rather than plunge in.
Not at all! As long as you’re enjoying yourself and not putting pressure on finding a relationship, it can actually make you seem more approachable and fun to be around.
Just be yourself! Show that you’re open to meeting new people, but also that you’re happy and confident on your own. Desperation usually comes from focusing too much on being with someone instead of enjoying life.
Great question! Pay attention to how you present yourself: smile often, make eye contact, and maybe even flirt a little. Just don’t come on too strong—keep it light and fun.
If you’re always the one initiating plans, or you cancel your plans to accommodate someone else, you might be too available. Take a step back and let others come to you sometimes.
It’s all about balance. Make sure you have your own life and interests, and don’t drop everything for someone else. Show that you value your time and they should too!
4. If He Doesn’t Respond…
/filters:quality(70)/content/i9/dd/u4f150z554c9063d72cc5579009783_500x332.jpg)
Image source: data.whicdn.com
Don’t be disheartened. It may mean that he is confused or uncertain. There may be a million things going on in his mind, and he may take time to warm up to your interest. If he is a colleague, a common friend or a classmate, you know that you will meet him again, and you can show your subtle signs of interest every now and then, over a period of several days. The key is neither to get disheartened nor impatient. Don’t make your attempts too obvious, and wait.
***
Don’t be disheartened. It may mean that he is confused or uncertain. There may be a million things going on in his mind, and he may take time to warm up to your interest. If he is a colleague, a common friend or a classmate, you know that you will meet him again, and you can show your subtle signs of interest every now and then, over a period of several days. The key is neither to get disheartened nor impatient. Don’t make your attempts too obvious, and wait.
Not at all! As long as you’re enjoying yourself and not putting pressure on finding a relationship, it can actually make you seem more approachable and fun to be around.
Just be yourself! Show that you’re open to meeting new people, but also that you’re happy and confident on your own. Desperation usually comes from focusing too much on being with someone instead of enjoying life.
Great question! Pay attention to how you present yourself: smile often, make eye contact, and maybe even flirt a little. Just don’t come on too strong—keep it light and fun.
If you’re always the one initiating plans, or you cancel your plans to accommodate someone else, you might be too available. Take a step back and let others come to you sometimes.
It’s all about balance. Make sure you have your own life and interests, and don’t drop everything for someone else. Show that you value your time and they should too!
If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.
5. If You Get Talking…
/filters:quality(70)/content/j4/fu/tvl49b6n54c9063e81a08830841904_500x357.jpg)
Image source: data.whicdn.com
You need to preserve your equilibrium. Don’t make obvious attempts to impress him or admire him. Try to keep the conversation as normal as possible, and let it take its own course. The game is still in your eyes. While you are talking, maintain eye contact for a fraction longer than you would with someone else. Also, if the conversation is dying down or he wants to move ahead, don’t make special attempts to hold him back. That conveys desperation. Remember, the idea is to find ways to show subtly that you are available, not desperately.
Not at all! As long as you’re enjoying yourself and not putting pressure on finding a relationship, it can actually make you seem more approachable and fun to be around.
Just be yourself! Show that you’re open to meeting new people, but also that you’re happy and confident on your own. Desperation usually comes from focusing too much on being with someone instead of enjoying life.
Great question! Pay attention to how you present yourself: smile often, make eye contact, and maybe even flirt a little. Just don’t come on too strong—keep it light and fun.
If you’re always the one initiating plans, or you cancel your plans to accommodate someone else, you might be too available. Take a step back and let others come to you sometimes.
It’s all about balance. Make sure you have your own life and interests, and don’t drop everything for someone else. Show that you value your time and they should too!
Gallery Spotlight
Save and share the images that inspire you. Tag @allwomenstalk to get featured.
Save
6. Confiding in Mutual Friends
/filters:quality(70)/content/bs/p0/gjijo5mx54c90641c3b22385470252_480x320.jpg)
Image source: avrorabeauty.ru
You have to be careful. If you are interested in a guy, you must confide only in a friend who you know will respect your privacy. The last thing you want is your friend to announce excitedly to the group, ‘you know what, Alice has a thing for Josh!’ It can be very embarrassing for both you and "Josh", and the budding connection can wilt right there.
Not at all! As long as you’re enjoying yourself and not putting pressure on finding a relationship, it can actually make you seem more approachable and fun to be around.
Just be yourself! Show that you’re open to meeting new people, but also that you’re happy and confident on your own. Desperation usually comes from focusing too much on being with someone instead of enjoying life.
Great question! Pay attention to how you present yourself: smile often, make eye contact, and maybe even flirt a little. Just don’t come on too strong—keep it light and fun.
If you’re always the one initiating plans, or you cancel your plans to accommodate someone else, you might be too available. Take a step back and let others come to you sometimes.
It’s all about balance. Make sure you have your own life and interests, and don’t drop everything for someone else. Show that you value your time and they should too!
7. Don’t Stalk Him
/filters:quality(70)/content/sg/n8/xh2tj8g554c90643210ae385881432_500x375.jpg)
Image source: data.whicdn.com
That’s a big no, and you need to be careful as you may be doing it subconsciously. Lingering a little longer in the cafeteria because he is sitting there, hanging around the library when you know he is about to come, staying back for an extra class just for him are all indicators of a pursuit. It is natural for us to be excited about being somewhere where our crush is too, but you need to control that to some extent. If he sees you looking at him, every time he looks up, wherever he may be, your attempt will be anything but subtle.
If you can keep in mind these tips, you will do just fine. However, remember that no matter how well you execute these ways to show subtly that you are available, the other person may just not be interested. Again, there could be numerous reasons for this, and they may have nothing to do with you. So, try not to let your self esteem take a hit. You may find someone equally engaging waiting for you round the corner! Any subtle tips you might want to add?
Top image source: hookingupsmart.com
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
Successfully subscribed!
Thank you for subscribing! Check your inbox for personalized content.
Comments
neverhadagf2: "That’s a big no, and you need to be careful as you may be doing it subconsciously. Lingering a little longer in the cafeteria because he is sitting there, hanging around the library when you know he is about to come, staying back for an extra class just for him are all indicators of a pursuit." Stalk me please, don't leave and abanond me like my du mb mom did.
neverhadagf2: "When you smile at someone warmly, it is an invitation to develop a connection. There are no other connotations to it, and it cannot be misinterpreted." One time a thought a girl smiled at me. I asked her out for coffee and she just made excuses. Looks like I "misinterpreted" that one! I should have known that a woman that pretty would even consider me for a second.
neverhadagf2: #5"Don’t make obvious attempts to impress him or admire him" Why must you girls torture and confuse me? Forget your mind games. The best approach is honest and direct. Women get mad if a man lies to them and I used to think it was the worst thing in the wrold to lie to a girl, but hey lie and hurt me so IDC anymore. I will not feel worthy of the light that refledcts off a woman's perfect face, hair,and body enter my unworthy eyes unless I know for sure a woman thinks I'm not ugly garbg that don't deserve to exist or have the light that reflects of her perfect hair, face, and body enter my unwirhty eyes. Is it because women read bad advice like that they act snobby?
Tocen: There's this guy I met at a wedding and we got talking and he was acting like he's very much into me. He was such a gentleman a very hilarious too. He collected my number from too. Even asked me about my long term goals and just because of that I started liking him. But since after the wedding I've always been the one to message him first and the last time he barely replied my messages. I really like him what do I do? Would appreciate a reply. Thank you.
neverhadagf2: #1 One time I thuoght a girl was smiling at me, I asked her out for cofee and she just make excuses. Should have known better than to think she would have gone for me and actually thought I was worthy of the light off her perfect hair and body and face enter my unwirthy eyes.
neverhadagf2: #2 Good luck with that one ladies. I cannot look a woman in the eye w/o feeling unworthy of the light that reflects of her perfectness enter my unworthy eyes unless I know she doesn't think I'm to ugly and I know she's not outta my league
neverhadagf2: ALL WOMEN MY AGE (except one or two) ARE PUT ON THIS EARTH FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE TO MAKE ME CONFUSED AND MISERABLE. How else can I explain why they are snobby to me?
neverhadagf2: I just said what women think of me and it says "That's sound too rough." and "Please watch your language .." if women are such sissues offended so easily, then they should take a good look in the mirror. Just goes to show how rough women are on men!!!!!!!!!
neverhadagf2: If a woman is interested in me, she better just make the first move. I feel like I'm too ugly for a woman to be attracted to me and after many BRUTAL rejections I have NO CONFIDENCE around women unless I know they don't think Imma ugly and/or piece of trash. A stupid snobby girl told me (copy-n-paste verbatim): You seem like you could be a really cool guy, but you need a little more confidence If she would have given me a chance and be my GF I would have confidence, the reason I have no confidence is coz I've been single my whole life and EVERY woman I've been attracted to has rejected me. I do not know what it's like to have mutual attraction with a female I find attractive. I give up on women forever.
neverhadagf2: #1 One time I thuoght a girl was smiling at me, I asked her out for cofee and she just make excuses. Should have known better than to think she would have gone for me and actually thought I was worthy of the light off her perfect hair and body and face enter my unwirthy eyes. I think I misinterpreted her smile, that gives me an upsode down smile :( hurt so bad on teh way home, I thought I might have at least had a pity date...
:
Add allwomenstalk.com as a preferred source on Google to see more of our trusted coverage when you search.EST 2005
Evolve. Empower. Elevate.
- Creators on the platform
- 3,000+
- Total social reach
- 12M+
- Features published
- 100K+
New Earn badges & level up while you read
Create your profile. Earn badges. Level up your reading.
Join Allwomenstalk to track your streaks, collect badges, and earn XP for the things you already do—reading, sharing, and taking quizzes.
- 🔥Daily streaks with gentle boosts for 3, 7, and 30 days.
- 🏅Collect badges like Reader I–III, Socialite, and Quiz Ace.
- ⚡️Earn XP for reads, deep reads, likes, comments, and shares.
It’s free. Takes 30 seconds. Already have an account? Sign in.
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge