Do You Know What to do when You Catch Your Partner Cheating? ...

If you want to reconcile, make sure you know and have the full truth. (Trickle truth, lying, and manipulating are what really kill a person, not the act of infidelity itself).

Make sure your spouse or partner does as well and you get a paper copy of those results (you know, because cheaters lie). And also because it is against the law to expose someone to STDs knowingly. It is a felony. If need be, talk to your doctor about prescribing an antidepressant, just for a little while.

If things get out of control and you feel your life may be in danger, call the police and get a restraining order.

Go see 3-4 of the BEST divorce attorneys in your area. Just a consultation is enough, but if need be, hire the best of the four. Your cheater cannot use either one of them. Conflict of interest and all of that.

If your spouse/partner moves out for a certain amount of time you can also file under the abandonment clause.

If you are in a State where Alienation of Affection is an offense, hire yourself a lawyer and sue the party that took your spouse's/partner's affections away from you. You'd be surprised at how many of these cases are actually won. It's real.

It will not end well, and you will feel even crappier after the "conversation". Remember that the other woman is like your cheating spouse and will lie and call you names in order to hurt you. Don't forget she wants YOU to leave your spouse so she can have them.

Do NOT do the "pick me dance". Don't plead. Don't cry. Just let him go. In fact, help him hefty bag his shit and send him on his way. Why? Because only about 3% of "relationships" that begin as affairs "make it". Why such a low number? The odds have already been stacked against the cheater. What kind of relationship can two cheaters possibly have? There will always be mistrust and dishonesty. "If they can do it to with you, they WILL do it to you".

It's not impossible, but make sure it is what YOU want. Don't do it for the kids (because often times, older kids know, and you'd be surprised at how divorce won't bother them) do it in your best interest because you have to live with whatever decisions you make. The kids will be ok.

Someone must help you navigate through the emotions brought on by the affair and help you better navigate your "new" life. If you decide to reconcile, do NOT start with marriage counseling. Make sure your spouse/partner sees an individual counselor to find out why they did what they did. After that you can both navigate marriage counseling together. But marriage counseling, when done first, always muddies the waters and makes things more complicated. It's best to put it on the back burner and to explore yourselves individually first because you may decide that reconciling is not for you and you'd rather divorce.

Eat, drink (stay away from alcohol), and exercise (get those endorphin's going even if for an hour). Try to sleep as much as you can. Set aside time to ask your questions, whatever questions you want answered from your cheater. Have them write you a timeline. Matter of fact, have them write TWO. One basic and one very detailed, put them in two separate envelopes and you can choose which one you want to read. Remember, you cannot unread what you see. So think long and hard about this one.

So get yourself out of it. When you draw a line in the sand, don't erase it and make another. Know when you've had enough. It's not easy. And it takes 2-5 years to heal.

Don't internalize your feelings. Feel them. They are VALID. Rage, be angry, be sad, and grieve. Don't be ashamed about something you didn't do. NEVER, EVER own your spouse's/partner's infidelities. It's not you, it's them. You can take responsibility for half of your marriage issues but NEVER the infidelity. It has nothing to do with you no matter what others say. Do not own that!

You are worth it!!

Life is hard, but infidelity makes it harder; however, you can get out of it and you can heal. It makes you stronger. And remember you're not alone.