If you're going to hook up with a bit of a lad, you need to be prepared and know how to date a player and not get hurt. Everyone has a past and we shouldn’t judge them on it. If you’ve started dating someone who’s been a player – i.e. he’s slept with a lot of girls and never been into the whole commitment thing – it doesn’t mean that he’s going to cheat or treat you badly. Granted, he might, but love is never risk-free. Here’s how to date a player and not get hurt.
One of the key signs he's a player is that he’s had sex with a lot of girls in the past. Don’t worry about how you match up. At the end of the day, with them it was just sex for him, but if he’s actually in a relationship with you then it’s you he wants and nothing else will matter.
At the end of the day, you know your relationship better than anyone else, but sometimes having an outsider's opinion can help. Ask your friends what they think of him – do they trust him? Do they think his feeling toward you are genuine? Don’t base your actions on these opinions, but it might be of some help to you.
If he says his player days are behind him but the way he acts still concerns you, don’t ignore it. If he’s flirting with other girls or acting suspiciously don’t let it go. Unfortunately, sometimes people don’t change, so if you think he’s misleading you consider whether you want to be in the relationship or not.
Obviously, you won’t want to hear all the gory details, but it’s ok to ask him about his past. Why did he want to sleep around in the first place? What made him change his mind and want to settle down? Having a bit of background knowledge might help you understand him more.
You just need to be blunt sometimes and this is one of those occasions. If he’s been a player in the past, you need to make sure that his intentions towards you are genuine and he is actually looking for something longer term. You don’t need to pressure him over it, but it’s not unreasonable to want to know where you stand.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship, so at the end of the day, if you want to make things work with this guy – regardless of what he’s been like in the past – you need to trust him. If he’s trying to move on and be a good boyfriend to you but you block him at every turn with doubt and paranoia then you’ll never make it work.
Starting a relationship with an ex-player can be daunting because nobody wants to end up hurt, but if he’s the right person for you then his past won’t matter – it just might take a little extra time for you to realize that and believe in him.
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