Generally men are not as open about their feelings as women, which is why one of the most common complaints within relationships is a lack of emotional intimacy. You may have a terrific connection with your man but you may have to do extra if you want him to be more open than he currently is.
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1. Comfortable Environment
When thinking about how to get your man to open up, the location in which you try to do it is absolutely key. For example, a crowded restaurant or the middle of the street is probably not the most ideal place to attempt to get him to open up and be vulnerable with you. You are going to have much better luck if you make sure that the two of you are in an environment where he feels completely comfortable: your home is the best bet. If he is surrounded by people and things that make him happy, he is going to be much more likely to open up to you.
2. See His Side
People, men in particular, are much more likely to open themselves up to another person if they feel like their perspective and point of view if being taken in to consideration. If he feels like he is only speaking to you to defend himself and try to justify himself, he is going to be much less forthcoming. Tell him that you sympathize with him and you want to be a part of his experience and he might be more willing to let you in.
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3. No Pressure
Some men withhold their true feelings on different subjects because they are worried that it will change your opinion of them, and in turn damage your own happiness. You need to let him know that his feelings, though they are important to you, don’t fully dictate your own, and that he should feel free to open up and be vulnerable without having to worry about how it going to affect you as well.
4. Unconditional Love
A promise of unconditional love goes a long, long way to making a guy feel safe and secure in revealing his feelings. If he assured that no matter what he says, you are going to love him regardless, it will basically give him a free pass to open up and tell you all the things that he was holding back in fear that it might turn you off him. All of these things are usually really trivial, but to him they seem really big until he gets them off his chest!
5. Share First
To encourage him that it is easy to do and satisfying, you should offer to share something with him first to get the ball rolling. Treat it as sort of a quid-pro-quo situation with the two of you sharing bits of information and stories about yourselves until he feels completely comfortable opening up to you.
6. Open-Ended Questions
It is always a good idea to ask open-ended questions that don’t necessarily require yes or no answers, but more the kind of questions where he can ramble on and develop an answer, giving him more time to get used to talking about revealing more about himself to you.
7. No Judgment
If you want this to happen again, you need to leave all judgment at the door and give him the sense that he can say anything to you without fear of being ridiculed or punished. It can be hard not to be judgmental sometimes, but the more understanding you are of him, the more likely it is that he is going to be more open with you in the future.
8. Keep Fights Clean
If you want to keep building on emotional intimacy, then when a fight breaks out you cannot use his past disclosures against him. Throwing his emotional insecurities in his face in the heat of the moment will only shut him out again or worse, ruin your relationship.
9. Show Physical Affection
For men to open up they need to feel loved. Hugs, kisses, and loving touches will allow your man to feel safe with you enough to open up his heart and reveal his true self. Physical affection is great for more than just sex. It lets him know you actually care.
10. Be Aware of Your Own Emotions
Before you can expect your man to divulge his deepest darkest secrets, you must be in tune with your own feelings and secrets. Do not expect him to share if you aren't willing to also. You must be in tune with yourself enough to face your emotional fears as well and allow him to be there with you so you can be there with him while he faces his.
Just because men aren't as forthcoming emotionally, it doesn't mean they don't have deep feelings. And the more you talk to each other, the more you understand each other and that can only be goood for your relationship.
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