Ever thought about the stages of getting over a breakup? He left you and now you’re struggling to come to terms with the shock and the whirlwind of emotions his departure has left in its wake. Here are the steps to take to get back on your feet and move on. Use these stages of getting over a breakup to get back to your life.
1. Dealing with the Blues
However much you feel inclined to just curl up on your couch and let the depression take its hold on you, you need to react. Keep your mind busy. If you don’t have a job that can keep your mind busy to exhaustion, call your best friend, who stood by you all through your relationship. Ask for her support in keeping you distracted and out of the house. Sitting by the phone wishing it to ring is not going to get you over this, the first of the stages of getting over a breakup.
2. Getting over the Shock
Don’t keep on pinching yourself, this is happening. Breath deeply and count to 100. It’s no good thinking of ploys to get back together again. Take the power to decide what is best for you. Move away from thoughts about him and move on. If he isn’t in your life anymore, it wasn’t meant to be. So treat yourself, go shopping and indulge. You need to be ready for life’s new gifts!
3. Overthinking Things
Stop obsessing about what you did or didn’t do. What you could have done differently or better. Stop reliving every moment of your relationship, looking for the tell-tale signs you missed when you were still in time to do something about them. Chances are, they weren’t there to see. We can’t change the past, but we sure can shape our future. If he isn’t part of that future, too bad for him! So go out there girl, and show the world what you’re made of!
4. Question Time
After days of asking yourself a thousand questions as to why it all had to end, you’ll want to give yourself all the answers. You might even want to reach out to him to ask for more explanations. Don’t do it! It is not the solution to any of your problems. Things and feelings change in life. Yours will too if you let them. Just give yourself time and get the support of your dearest friends to find distractions.
5. Beat the Frustration
So what if, after a week of silence, he texts you? Just to know how you’re doing! DO NOT answer. However much you want to. Don’t do it, or you’ll catapult yourself back to the beginning. You’re working hard to take control and move on, keep on doing so. Don’t let the fact that he’s messing with your emotions frustrate you. He most likely didn’t expect you to be able to cope. Show him how wrong he was!
6. Release the Anger
If screaming and throwing everything that comes to reach isn’t an option, you’ll need to use other channels to release the tension. A great way to do this is to take a boxing class, go running or go to the gym and take 2-3 consecutive spinning classes. You’ll feel surprisingly high and innocuous!
This is the stage when you begin to realise that alone you’re just as whole as you were in a relationship. You’ll begin to realise that you can still do all the things you did as a couple. You are perfectly able to plan things without involving another person. This is a day to celebrate with a drink in the company of your best friend.
At this point, although you still get the odd twinge if you think about your lost love, you’ve got yourself over the worst of it. Now you can begin to really think about the future. So keep your sights to the future and don’t look back.
9. Planning for the Future
So you’re free, you’re your own boss and the world is yours for the taking. You are finally ready to look forward and plan your life. At this stage, you can think about how you want your life to go, and make a move in that direction. Take small steps and enjoy every one of them. Know you’ve earned your freedom and your greater self-awareness.
So after the pain, the emotional swings and roundabouts, you’re finally really free. No one else is in control of your life. Nobody can hold you back. You are the mistress of your destiny. You can reach out and take all the opportunities the universe can offer. Go, enjoy and never look back!