The rise in domestic violence and sociopath-based murders are just cause for learning ways to identify a psycho boyfriend. These attributes may not only prevent you from remaining in an unhealthy relationship, but they may, in fact, save your life. I have dated men who turned out to be sociopaths, and it was a terrifying experience for me. To prevent you from sustaining this trauma, I offer you some ways to identify a psycho boyfriend.
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1. Wow, He is Such a Romantic!
Your gut instincts are your ultimate ally in terms of the ways to identify a psycho boyfriend. If you have that, "it's too good to be true" feeling—run! The primary objective of a sociopath is to draw you into his world, so he can control you. They often begin with grand gestures that are overwhelming yet romantic in nature. They always know the right thing to say at the exact moment that it is needed. Keep your guard up and watch for red flags to emerge.
2. Embellishment Goes a Long Way
A psycho boyfriend will sell himself as a great catch from day one. They brag about their lifelong accomplishments to make themselves appear established. These men often include achievements that give the impression that they are emotionally and financially stable. These embellishments usually include well-known companies that are successful in their given industry. The internet is your best friend when it comes to these claims, and you can easily verify his statements by conducting research.
Frequently asked questions
3. Did He Insult Me?
Yes, he did. Men who have sociopathic tendencies are skilled in manipulation. After they believe they have you ensnared in their web, they will slowly begin to insult you in small ways at first. A common test for them is to utilize a vast vocabulary of words which they believe you are far too inferior to comprehend. Unfortunately, in the beginning phases of the relationship, they manipulate you into believing it was simply your own misunderstanding of their meaning.
4. Controlling Your Wardrobe and Make-up
A psycho boyfriend wants to control the way you appear to others. They watch and monitor your reaction to certain stimuli to identify your insecurities. Once they know you have an emotional bond with them, they play this to their advantage. They convince you that you should change the way you dress or wear your cosmetics in a way that is pleasing to them. In truth, they only want to find a new way to humiliate you and control you by making you less appealing to other men.
5. Pun—Intended
Another method of control for a sociopath is to humiliate you in public. They find ways to turn you into the punch line of their jokes during social gatherings. The problem here is that they know it will upset you, which is why they do it. They provoke you deliberately to make it appear that you are overreacting to innocent teasing. Ultimately, it presents the impression to onlookers that you are, in fact, the problem not him. You appear insecure and overtly sensitive. He will use this to control you further.
6. Where Are You?
By this stage in your relationship, he has every method possible for contacting you at will. He will call you at work, while visiting your friends, and even during a doctor's appointment. The point is to know where you are at any given time. This allows him to cover up his own bad behavior such as cheating and prevents you from catching him in a lie. It further enforces the notion of complete control over you and your life. An immediate clue or red flag that he is a sociopath is his intense overreaction when you do not answer.
7. Are You Uncomfortable?
A common area in which a sociopath wants complete control over of you is in the bedroom. He deliberately pushes the envelope to ensure that he far exceeds your comfort zone. In terms of sex, it is all about his pleasure not yours, and the more humiliated you are, the more he likes it. Your feelings are not a top priority to him, and if he can make you cry; he wins. When dealing with a sociopath, there is not a safe balance in the bedroom, they are setting the stage to progress from emotional to physical abuse.
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A sociopath may also manipulate you by creating situations where you feel vulnerable or exposed. This control extends beyond the bedroom into other areas of the relationship, manifesting in isolating you from friends and family, or dominating daily decisions that should be mutual. His need to dominate often leaves you feeling powerless and under constant scrutiny. Any form of resistance or expression of discomfort is met with manipulation or aggression, further entrenching his control over you. Ironically, the more submissive and broken you feel, the more powerful he becomes, perpetuating a dangerous cycle of control and abuse.
8. The Yo-Yo Act
Psycho boyfriends are masters of deception. They will create a yo-yo game in which they lie so convincingly that they make you question yourself frequently. You find yourself catching him in lies and arguments ensue. He twists these concepts into more lies that seem logical and rational. This continues until you refrain from mentioning these lies. He further enforces that he loves you and only wants what is best for you. It is at this point where you begin to question your own sanity.
9. But I Didn't do Anything Wrong?
The narcissistic side of a psycho boyfriend renders them incapable of accepting blame for anything. This includes even the most minor occurrence. For example, he broke a significant piece of your fine china, but he claims it is your fault because you didn't make sure that the door on the cabinet was closed properly. His computer acquired a virus, but it is your fault because you attached a photo in an email message; it couldn't possibly be his fault - after all that porn site he visited couldn't possibly have a virus. He will twist every adverse event and convince you that he is innocent, and you are to blame.
10. But Everyone Says He's a Good Guy!
The ultimate method of control for a sociopath or psycho boyfriend is to charm the people you love. By gaining their approval, he can twist them and reinforce blame assignment. He preys upon their sympathy to make you the bad guy in every scenario. He is always on his best behavior around them; never showing his true colors. This master of manipulation uses your loved ones to trap you and eliminate any possibility of escape. They begin to say, «He is such a great guy; I don't know why you don't like him,» or «What is wrong with you; he is perfect for you.»
11. The Real Elephant in the Room
Narcissistic rage is a common attribute of a sociopath. This makes their behavior highly unpredictable. At any point that a psycho boyfriend discovers that he can harm you physically and apologize successfully, his behavior begins to alter slightly at first and then without warning it happens again. Don't let this happen again! If your boyfriend hurts you physically in a way that is not clearly a true accident, leave! Do not believe the common lie of all abusive men that implies that he won't do it again. He will; next time he might kill you in the process.
You can prevent a psycho boyfriend from getting his hooks into you by listening to your gut instincts. It is further possible for you to get away by identifying early-warning signs that are common in sociopathic behaviors. What are some warning signs you experienced that implied that your ex-boyfriend was a psycho?
Comments
Jordan: Wonderful and accurate post. This one may save lives.
The: I was in a relationship a lot like this 5 years ago...I STILL ask myself how I allowed this to happen. But I left him and kept being fabulous :))))))
Kristin: I had a boyfriend like this, for 2 years. I could never do anything right. When i found out he was cheating he had the nerve to get mad at me! He said it was none of my business. We've been broken up for just over a year and now he swears hes going to marry me someday. And Im just like uhhhhh no thanks, im good!
Nikki: Eeeeeek! This is so scary!
Karina: This fits my soon to be ex perfectly! It's seriously surreal, I've put up with this behavior for 10 years, 10 years!!! Please share this with other girls,..I wouldn't wish what he has put me through on my worst enemy. Just up until 2 weeks ago he brought his friends over to MY house, that I pay for and humiliated and shame me; I am a working mother to OUR 5 month old daughter and I am the breadwinner of the house, and he had the audacity to bring them to degrade me and shame me on every aspect of my life, so he control me more, as he's loosing me. FYI they were in on it because he's already convinced them that I am the crazy one,....yet I seem to get along with every at work just fine
Susan: This is all too real to me - if your gut is telling you something is off with Mr. Perfect, run!
Holly: I dated a guy who would purposely start arguments with me and then scream at me, he didn't even invite me to his own birthday so he could go drink and cheat, then convinces everyone that he's a great guy. The best part is that he eventually cracked and everyone saw him for who he was. They will crack, people will know, they will lose power and you will prevail if you leave him.
Emma: Wow..... Hit the nail on the head! This is exactly what happened to me, he was older, married and my boss. Manipulation was key and you don't realise it's been happening. One day you are being treated like a princess and a few years down the line you are a Broken, desperate mess, a shadow of your former self and are trying to figure out what you did wrong. Follow your gut instinct.... Best advice for someone so manipulative x
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