Being in love with a married man is one of the hardest things in the world to deal with, especially if he is returning the affection and feelings, but still with his wife. When you fall in love with a married man, it might seem like everything can work out and everything can somehow be great, but truthfully, it isn't. Just because you are in love and he says he is too, doesn't mean that it is going to work. If you're in love with a married man and have no idea what to do, take a look at my tips below!
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1. Respect Yourself π©
Firstly, girls, when did we stop respecting ourselves? While the man might be giving you tons of attention, gifts and taking you out, it really isn't ever going to be a true relationship because he already has a family. You don't ever want to be called a home wrecker or someone that is going to break up a family. Instead, end it with him and really go through the breakup process so you can find someone free. Being in love with a married man isn't going to get you anything but a lot of judgment and grief, girls!
Realize that you are worthy of a relationship that's all yours, one not marred by secrecy or shame. Holding on to someone else's partner is selling yourself short of the love and devotion you deserve. The self-respect you nurture today paves the way for healthier relationships in the future. By drawing clear boundaries, you not only uphold your dignity but also set the stage for a love that's fully realized and returned. Remember, the choices you make reflect the value you place on yourself β choose to be someone's priority, not an option.
2. Take into Consideration That Most Men do Not Leave Their Wives π°
Realize, even though he might say he is going to leave his wife β¦ he probably isn't. He probably wants to have his cake and eat it too, and unless you put an end to it, he isn't going anywhere. Why would he leave his happy home if he has you on the side and willing to participate in his game?
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3. Remember That He Has a Family π¨βπ©βπ§
I can't say this enough, this doesn't just affect you, what if he has children? Cheating has a ripple effect and this, in turn, can really cause a lot of problems for not just him or you, but also his wife's trust in men altogether and finally his children. Do you want to put an entire family through all of that? It's hard, but ending it with a married man would be best.
Children are innocent bystanders in the wake of extramarital affairsβthey didn't choose any of this. An affair can shatter a child's sense of security and family. Moreover, consider the difficulties a child would face with broken trust and the potential psychological toll that may ensue. Are temporary feelings worth causing long-lasting harm to children who had no part in this? Think of the repercussions your actions could have on their emotional well-being and future relationships. It's a heavy burden to bear.
4. Don't Settle, You Deserve Better π
Why are you settling for just a married man in the first place? You are beautiful, a rock star and so amazing, you need someone that is just dedicated to you and not someone that is dedicated to another woman at the same time. Wouldn't it be nice to have a man all your own?
Often times, we sell ourselves short, thinking we might not find that fantastic soulmate who will cherish us wholly. However, that is a mere myth. You don't just deserve leftovers; you merit the entire feast of love. Seeking affection from a man whose heart is elsewhere is like quenching your thirst with saltwater. Never forget, your worth isnβt defined by someoneβs inability to see your value. So, stand tall, demand the respect and commitment you deserve, and embrace the acknowledgment that you are worthy of an exclusive and fulfilling relationship. Chase after the love story thatβs all about you.
5. Grieve Your Love Just like Any Other Breakup π
Being in love is a tricky, tricky thing and I have to say, even though he is married, you probably do have deep, deep feelings for him. Which means that you'll have to grieve your love and the relationship, just like any other breakup. It is going to be really, really hard, but you'll get through it!
Grieving is a vital step in the healing process. Let yourself feel all the emotionsβanger, sadness, confusion, and heartache. Don't shy away from tears, as they're the body's natural way of releasing pain. Scribbling down your feelings in a journal or confiding in a trusted friend can help too. Remember, it's perfectly okay to mourn the loss of what could've been. Healing is not a linear process; it takes time and self-compassion. Eventually, the ache will fade and make room for new joys in your life.
6. Yes, People Will Judge You, but Breakup for You π
Remember when I mentioned those judgments? Well, most people are going to judge you, but don't let that get to you. You need to end the relationship for you, not for anyone else. You need to respect yourself enough to find a man that is just yours.
It's inevitable - whispers, stares, and opinions will come your way, but at the heart of it, your happiness and self-worth aren't up for a public vote. Stick to your convictions and honor your feelings. If things donβt feel right, it's crucial to embrace your courage to seek a love that is fully and authentically reciprocated. Yes, it's scary and yes, it's hard, but remember, staying true to yourself is the bravest thing you can do. Let the chitchat be just background noise to the empowering symphony of your own life choices.
7. Cut off Communication and I Mean All π βοΈ
Girls, you really need to cut all communication off from him. This could mean even changing your number so he won't have access to you and blocking him on everything. It's hard, but it'll be so worth it!
Breaking ties with a married man requires unwavering resolve. Delete and unfriend him from your social media accounts β out of sight, out of mind. If you're worried about succumbing to temptation, ask a trusted friend to help keep you accountable during this digital detox. Remember, each step you take to distance yourself is a stride towards a healthier emotional state and your own well-being.
8. Don't Trust Him, Why Would You? π’
Even if he decides to leave his wife for you, there are going to be more than a few issues moving forward. If he cheated on her, then what makes you think that he wouldn't cheat on you? Unless you're 100% confident that he'll treat you differently than he treated his last woman, you're going to have severe trust issues.
9. Remember She Could Badmouth You π
If you have an affair with a woman's husband, she's not going to be happy when she finds out. Don't expect her to be okay with the situation. She'll probably spread some pretty nasty things about you around town, and she might even get violent.
Engaging in a relationship with a married man can lead to a very challenging situation, and the fury of his spouse shouldn't be underestimated. Her response could involve more than just harsh words; your reputation might be at stake if she decides to spread rumors or reveal secrets that could tarnish your social standing. Additionally, the emotional turmoil could escalate beyond verbal disputes, potentially leading to confrontations that nobody wants. It's important to consider how your actions could provoke hurt and outrage, resulting in consequences that affect more than just your relationship.
10. Accept Your Jealousy π±
When you're attracted to a married man, you're going to get jealous over his wife. I mean, he loved her enough to make a 'lifelong' commitment to her. Try to make peace with your jealousy instead of acting on your feelings.
11. Only Want Married Men? You Need to Seek Help πͺ
If you only fall for married men, you need to figure out how to stop the trend. Attending therapy may be the cure you need, or you might just want to hang out at a club meant for singles. It'll help you find unattached men for a change.
12. Don't Blame Yourself for Him Being Married π
Even if you believe a married man is the love of your life, don't think that there's something wrong with you, because he won't leave his wife. Remember that he made a commitment to her that he doesn't want to break. It has nothing to do with you.
Many women find themselves in this tough spot, feeling helpless and stuck. But it's important to cherish your self-worth and acknowledge that his inability to leave his marriage is likely a reflection of his own values, fears, or circumstances. Your self-esteem should not be tied to his decision to stay in his marriage. If he truly cares for you, he'd find a way to be with you without causing pain. Remember, love should feel good and empowering, not limiting and painful.
13. Think about How You Would Feel π₯
Before you try to get with a married man, put yourself in his wife's shoes. How would you feel if your husband cheated on you? Wouldn't you be devastated? Don't help a guy cause that kind of misery.
14. The Secretiveness Could Consume You π‘
If you're dating a married man, you have to keep it on the down low, and is that really how you want your relationship to work? You should be proud to hold your man's hand in public and bring him home to meet the family. Don't settle for a relationship where you have unhealthy secrets to keep.
Constant secrecy can also lead you to feel isolated, as if you're living a double life. This pressure often leads to a toll on your mental and emotional well-being, causing stress and anxiety that spills over into other areas of your life. Always remember that true love doesn't hide in the shadows. Aim for a relationship that's transparent and honest, one that doesn't force you to compromise your happiness or sacrifice your peace of mind for the sake of love.
15. He Isn't Really a Good Man π
You may think he's the kindest, gentlest man in the world, but that can't be true if he's willing to cheat on his wife. Yes, he might treat you well now, but that could change in the future.
Cheating is a clear sign of disrespect, not just to his spouse, but to you as well. Think about it: if he's capable of deceiving her, what's stopping him from doing the same to you? His current charm could merely be a facade masking deeper issues. After all, true integrity means being honest and faithful, regardless of who's watching. Remember, you deserve someone whose moral compass isn't swayed by convenience or opportunity; someone who stands steadfast in their values.
16. You're a Mistress, You've Got to Own That π
If a married man is pursuing you, chances are that physical intimacy is all that he's interested in. He can't take you out on dates because he can't be seen with you in public. All he can do is touch and kiss you, and that's exactly what he wants. Don't be fooled into believing you mean more to him than you do.
Embrace the truth of the situationβintimacy is his priority, not a shared future. Pure moments spent together are just stolen instances that can never grow into something legitimate. Remember, while youβre left waiting and hoping, he returns to the stability of his marriage. Your worth is greater than a clandestine affair; don't settle for a connection that exists only in the shadows. Demand the love that steps into the sunlight, unhindered and proud.
17. Know You're in Control of Your Instincts π΄
There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, but acting on your feelings is another story. Believe it or not, you're a strong woman who is capable of controlling herself. Even if you're dying to kiss a man, you can hold yourself back.
18. Don't Be Selfish π
Affairs are all about selfishness. You want him, no matter who it hurts. But do you really want to be that person? If he has kids, you could help him ruin their opinion on him forever. Is your love really worth shattering a child's heart?
Being self-involved in an affair can cause irrevocable damage, not only to his family but to your own sense of integrity. Ask yourself if fleeting moments of passion are worth the lasting consequences they produce. Indeed, the fallout extends beyond the present, potentially eroding trust in all his future relationshipsβespecially with his children. They learn about love and commitment from their parents; your involvement could skew their perspective for years. Before taking another step, pause and consider the widespread implications of your actions.
19. Ask Yourself if You're Actually Happy π³
Does it make you happy hiding your relationship? Do you like only seeing him on weekends and late nights? It's hard to be fully happy when your man is married to someone else. Since your happiness is the most important thing, you should leave him in the past.
Reflecting on your happiness is crucial. Start by envisioning your ideal relationship β does it include secrecy and limited availability? Being involved with a married man often means sacrificing your emotional needs for his convenience. You deserve someone who can offer you undivided attention and unwavering commitment, not just stolen moments. Acknowledge your worth and seek a love that elevates you, rather than one that keeps you hidden in the shadows. Remember, true love shouldn't come with terms and conditions. Embrace your self-worth and choose a path that aligns with your desire for full and unrestrained joy.
20. Being Resentful Will Be Part of Your Everyday π
If you stay with him. Know that, because truth be told, resentment will creep in like a thick fog. Heck, you might not even know it until it's happening.
It creeps up silently, the resentment. You might find yourself questioning every unreturned call, every missed date, every silent night. "Why am I not enough?" becomes a haunting refrain in your mind. But darling, it's not about being enough. It's about being true to yourself and recognizing that thriving in the shadows and margins of someone else's life isn't the love story you deserve. Resentment will fester, turning your once sweet daydreams into bitter reflections, until one day you might look in the mirror and not recognize the woman staring back at you.
21. He Will Keep Lying to You π£
Your entire relationship is based on a lie, do you think that will stop if he DOES leave his wife? It won't. Just know that the lies will keep mounting.
22. It's Time, to Be Honest with Yourself π±
Do you want to continue to be a secret? To keep him a secret? It's really time to own up and be honest with yourself and be honest with him. I talked about before that you want a man that you can be proud of β be honest with yourself girls.
Reflect on the continuous cycle of secrecy and the toll it takes on your sense of self-worth. Are your needs truly being fulfilled? You deserve a partnership that enriches your life and isn't confined to the shadows. Self-reflection can be difficult, but it paves the way to empowerment and making choices that align with your deepest values and desires. Embrace the strength that comes from facing the truth of your situation.
23. You Might Not Be the Only Girl π±π±π±
Did you think about that? This could be a habit. Really girl, this could be a habit of his and you could be one of many. That's not a great thing to think about, but it absolutely could be true.
The sting of considering this might send shivers down your spine, but girl, it's essential to face the music. If he's sneaking around with you, chances are he's got it down to an art. And honey, art has many admirers. You deserve to be the masterpiece, not just another sketch in the book. It's time to reassess and make sure you're not settling for a man who can't offer you the exclusive love and respect you truly deserve. Don't be the option when you should be the priority.
24. You Are Nobody's Doormat πͺ
However, when you are dating a married man, that is exactly what you are seen as. Even if he is helping you out with bills, you can make it on your own, you are that strong.
25. Your Life Will Be More Successful without Him π
When you finally do break up, I promise you that you'll feel better, you won't be as stressed and you'll be overall, more successful. It's time.
I know that sometimes, you can't help who you fall in love with, but if the great guy you are in love with now is married β it's time to end it. So, have you ever been in love with a married man? Share your story!
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