By Heather
Being in love with a married man is one of the hardest things in the world to deal with, especially if he is returning the affection and feelings, but still with his wife. When you fall in love with a married man, it might seem like everything can work out and everything can somehow be great, but truthfully, it isn't. Just because you are in love and he says he is too, doesn't mean that it is going to work. If you're in love with a married man and have no idea what to do, take a look at my tips below!
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Firstly, girls, when did we stop respecting ourselves? While the man might be giving you tons of attention, gifts and taking you out, it really isn't ever going to be a true relationship because he already has a family. You don't ever want to be called a home wrecker or someone that is going to break up a family. Instead, end it with him and really go through the breakup process so you can find someone free. Being in love with a married man isn't going to get you anything but a lot of judgment and grief, girls!
Realize, even though he might say he is going to leave his wife … he probably isn't. He probably wants to have his cake and eat it too, and unless you put an end to it, he isn't going anywhere. Why would he leave his happy home if he has you on the side and willing to participate in his game?
I can't say this enough, this doesn't just affect you, what if he has children? Cheating has a ripple effect and this, in turn, can really cause a lot of problems for not just him or you, but also his wife's trust in men altogether and finally his children. Do you want to put an entire family through all of that? It's hard, but ending it with a married man would be best.
Why are you settling for just a married man in the first place? You are beautiful, a rock star and so amazing, you need someone that is just dedicated to you and not someone that is dedicated to another woman at the same time. Wouldn't it be nice to have a man all your own?
Being in love is a tricky, tricky thing and I have to say, even though he is married, you probably do have deep, deep feelings for him. Which means that you'll have to grieve your love and the relationship, just like any other breakup. It is going to be really, really hard, but you'll get through it!
Remember when I mentioned those judgments? Well, most people are going to judge you, but don't let that get to you. You need to end the relationship for you, not for anyone else. You need to respect yourself enough to find a man that is just yours.
Girls, you really need to cut all communication off from him. This could mean even changing your number so he won't have access to you and blocking him on everything. It's hard, but it'll be so worth it!
Even if he decides to leave his wife for you, there are going to be more than a few issues moving forward. If he cheated on her, then what makes you think that he wouldn't cheat on you? Unless you're 100% confident that he'll treat you differently than he treated his last woman, you're going to have severe trust issues.
If you have an affair with a woman's husband, she's not going to be happy when she finds out. Don't expect her to be okay with the situation. She'll probably spread some pretty nasty things about you around town, and she might even get violent.
When you're attracted to a married man, you're going to get jealous over his wife. I mean, he loved her enough to make a 'lifelong' commitment to her. Try to make peace with your jealousy instead of acting on your feelings.
If you only fall for married men, you need to figure out how to stop the trend. Attending therapy may be the cure you need, or you might just want to hang out at a club meant for singles. It'll help you find unattached men for a change.
Even if you believe a married man is the love of your life, don't think that there's something wrong with you, because he won't leave his wife. Remember that he made a commitment to her that he doesn't want to break. It has nothing to do with you.
Before you try to get with a married man, put yourself in his wife's shoes. How would you feel if your husband cheated on you? Wouldn't you be devastated? Don't help a guy cause that kind of misery.
If you're dating a married man, you have to keep it on the down low, and is that really how you want your relationship to work? You should be proud to hold your man's hand in public and bring him home to meet the family. Don't settle for a relationship where you have unhealthy secrets to keep.
You may think he's the kindest, gentlest man in the world, but that can't be true if he's willing to cheat on his wife. Yes, he might treat you well now, but that could change in the future.
If a married man is pursuing you, chances are that physical intimacy is all that he's interested in. He can't take you out on dates because he can't be seen with you in public. All he can do is touch and kiss you, and that's exactly what he wants. Don't be fooled into believing you mean more to him than you do.
There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, but acting on your feelings is another story. Believe it or not, you're a strong woman who is capable of controlling herself. Even if you're dying to kiss a man, you can hold yourself back.
Affairs are all about selfishness. You want him, no matter who it hurts. But do you really want to be that person? If he has kids, you could help him ruin their opinion on him forever. Is your love really worth shattering a child's heart?
Does it make you happy hiding your relationship? Do you like only seeing him on weekends and late nights? It's hard to be fully happy when your man is married to someone else. Since your happiness is the most important thing, you should leave him in the past.
If you stay with him. Know that, because truth be told, resentment will creep in like a thick fog. Heck, you might not even know it until it's happening.
Your entire relationship is based on a lie, do you think that will stop if he DOES leave his wife? It won't. Just know that the lies will keep mounting.
Do you want to continue to be a secret? To keep him a secret? It's really time to own up and be honest with yourself and be honest with him. I talked about before that you want a man that you can be proud of – be honest with yourself girls.
Did you think about that? This could be a habit. Really girl, this could be a habit of his and you could be one of many. That's not a great thing to think about, but it absolutely could be true.
However, when you are dating a married man, that is exactly what you are seen as. Even if he is helping you out with bills, you can make it on your own, you are that strong.
When you finally do break up, I promise you that you'll feel better, you won't be as stressed and you'll be overall, more successful. It's time.
I know that sometimes, you can't help who you fall in love with, but if the great guy you are in love with now is married – it's time to end it. So, have you ever been in love with a married man? Share your story!
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