Are you looking for tips for making a long distance relationship work? Relationships are rarely easy, and for most of us, long-distance relationships can be even more of a challenge. We get used to living close to our partner, and a change in the situation might tear us apart. But what do you do if you still want to make the relationship work? Here are some tips for making a long distance relationship work. Good luck!
Table of contents:
- know what you’re getting into
- both must be willing to put the work in
- you really, really like each other
- you’re both ready for commitment
- you trust each other
- you’re friends as well as lovers
- you are honest with each other
- respect each other
- set some ground rules
- avoid over communicating
- do things together
- know your partner's schedule
- stay positive
- set goals
- you will have your ups and downs
1 Know What You’re Getting into
Like any big life decision, this will require commitment. Know what you’re getting into because it will be hard. It’s a lot of work and you may break up. But if you survive, you’ll be stronger for it! Being ready for the challenges is one of the best tips for making a long distance relationship work.
2 Both Must Be Willing to Put the Work in
You both must be equally committed to each other for this to work. It’s no good if one partner just isn’t interested. Talk to each other and make sure you’re both ready for this.
3 You Really, Really like Each Other
It’s a lot of work for someone you’ve been on three dates with. Make sure you both like each other. It can be embarrassing being honest with each other, but in the long run, you’ll be grateful for the open communication.
4 You’re Both Ready for Commitment
Long distance is hard enough without the “are we exclusive” debate. Set your boundaries and establish what you are to each other before starting anything.
Talk regularly. You can call, video chat or text, but make sure to actually talk to your partner. Tell them your doubts, worries, and fears. This is especially important in a long-distance relationship, as you don’t have the physical intimacy to make up for a lack of communication. Keeping things to yourself never works.
6 You Trust Each Other
If you can’t trust your partner when he lives close by, how do you expect it to work long-distance? Your partner will be spending time with friends, co-workers, maybe even a night out. You can’t control him, or expect him to spend every minute texting you. If you can’t trust him to stay faithful, why are you even with him?
7 You’re Friends as Well as Lovers
Your partner needs to be more than your lover. He needs to be your friend. He must make your life better and brighter for being in it. It helps if you share interests, so there’s something stronger and more natural pulling you together.
8 You Are Honest with Each Other
If he asks you how you’re doing, "fine" is not an acceptable answer. If you’re having doubts, share them so you can work through them. If you can’t be honest with your partner, there may be a bigger issue of trust you need to address.
9 Respect Each Other
You need to respect your partner as his own person. Living so far apart means they will have their own lives, interests, and relationships, and this is essential for a healthy relationship. He will not spend every waking minute on the phone with you. You should add to each other’s lives, not dominate them.
10 Set Some Ground Rules
Without being over controlling, setting some ground rules can alleviate some anxiety. It’s not healthy to ban certain behaviours (e.g, no nights out), but perhaps add some compromise (e.g, let me know your plans in advance so I’m not caught off guard). Simple rules like, always text me goodnight, can add so much.
11 Avoid over Communicating
You can’t expect your partner to sit on his phone with you 24/7. Not only will this dominate your life, it will stop him from having friends and hobbies. Spend some time apart and respect each other.
You both must be willing to visit each other. Yes, public transport is awful and long journeys are a pain, but you must both be willing to put the time and effort into it. If your partner is too lazy to come visit you, maybe he's not worth it.
13 Do Things Together
Try and do things together other than visiting each other. For example, play video games together or watch the same shows on Netflix. This can give you something to bond over, and remind you why you’re doing this in the first place.
14 Know Your Partner's Schedule
Knowing your partner's general schedule can stop you worrying or being possessive. You’ll know roughly when he's working, or how he watches football on Thursdays, which is why he hasn't texted you back. Be careful though, as you can’t know exactly where he is 24/7.
15 Stay Positive
You’ll miss him, and if he's very far away it can be lonely. Try and build your own friendships and focus on the positives – he must really think you’re worth it! Eventually, you’ll be close again, and you’ll be stronger for it.
16 Set Goals
A long slog with no end in sight can be disheartening. It helps to set goals and deadlines to have something to look forward too, from long-term relationship goals to the next visit. Discuss your future and know what you’re working towards.
17 You Will Have Your Ups and Downs
Just remember that all relationships have ups and downs. It may seem more down than up, but try and look on the bright side and see things from his point of view. Trust, love and respect your partner, but make sure its reciprocated. You deserve it!
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