If you’ve been in a cheating relationship or wonder if you are in one, you may have heard your man say the following things. It’s amazing how many men say the same exact phrases, as if they read a book on what to say when cheating. Here are some things men say when they're cheating and don't want you to know or once they're caught:
You discover he’s been talking to someone new, who is a female. He hasn’t said anything to you about her before you finding out about her and when you ask him if you can meet her, he objects. It’s because she’s really not a friend, she’s a girlfriend.
He doesn’t want you to touch his phone for fear that you will either see text messages from her or that she will send one just as you pick it up. He may even have pictures of her on his phone.
Yes, men who cheat will accuse their partner of cheating. Why? It’s because they start to think, “Well, if I can do it, she could do it too.”
All of sudden he pokes at all of the things you do wrong and you have no idea what his problem is. He can’t cheat if he loves you or he thinks that you are good to him. So he makes himself believe that you aren’t good enough for him and that’s why he had to turn to someone else. In reality, you are more than good enough.
At first, you might think he’s being sweet for helping you out. Unfortunately, he’s doing it so he can hide his soiled pants, perfume smell or some other evidence of his liaison with his lady friend.
All of a sudden he has more work than he knows what to do with and he can’t come home when he normally does. It’s because he’s not really at work, instead he’s meeting with his girlfriend without worry that you’ll catch him.
He says he loves you and wants to be with you; yet, he strayed and told someone else the same thing. It’s because he wasn’t having the affair because he didn’t love you anymore, he had it because he was disillusioned from reality. When reality hit, he finally realized what he had to lose…you.
He’s right, when he went out to have the affair, he wasn’t thinking, “I am going to sleep with this other woman because I want to hurt her so incredibly bad.” Instead, he did it for his own selfish reasons without giving any thought to how it would hurt you.
In his last attempt to salvage any type of relationship with you, he may blurt out that he doesn’t want to lose you. You might think, “What did you think would happen when you chose to cheat on me?” Again, he never tied sleeping with someone else and losing you together. This may be a complete shock to him that you are actually leaving.
She might not mean anything to him or he’s lying. Usually, men who have affairs may not have wanted to get involved emotionally, but after sleeping with them multiple times, feelings start to develop. So, in most cases, he’s lying that she means nothing to him, what he really means to say is that he doesn’t want her over you.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for lying, cheating, or murder. He's the one who decided to get wasted around a woman that he was attracted to. He's the one who decided to hop into bed with her. Even though the alcohol affected his brain, he still did what he did, so drinking is no excuse for infidelity.
Men use this line as if cheating only once is no big deal. Of course, whether he cheated once or one dozen times, he was still unfaithful to you. He lied to you and betrayed you, even though he vowed to never hurt you when he signed up to be your boyfriend.
Does it really matter if he was imagining your face while another girl was on top of him? If anything, it makes it worse, because it shows that he thought about you and still didn't stop what was happening.
He may claim that he'll never do it again, but your trust in him is already broken. It's hard to continue a relationship after someone cheats. Even though you know he loves you, you also know how he treats someone he loves, and do you really want to be with a guy like that?
Even if you know he's cheating, he won't want you to see the woman he's been sleeping with. If you do, then he's going to have to be extra careful if he ever wants to meet up with her again.
Maybe this is the truth, but if he truly believes that one person can't remain loyal to another, he shouldn't have entered a relationship. Of course, now that you know he's a cheater, he can sleep with as many girls as he wants, because you'll be out of the picture.
If you have trust issues, he'll use them against you. Even if you have evidence that he's cheating, he'll claim that you're just jealous over nothing. It's a common thing for cheaters to say, because it'll make you start doubting yourself instead of them.
We all know men like to have sex. However, if they really need a release, they can handle it themselves instead of looking for another woman to please them. Cheating isn't nature's fault. It's his.
He doesn't want to admit that he's a bad person, so he'll place the blame on you. He'll claim that you're a horrible girlfriend, because you don't please him enough in the bedroom. He wants to put it all on you.
Men say this, but it makes little sense. How could he possibly be unaware of what he was doing? Unless he was drugged, he knew exactly what he was doing. He could at least come up with a lie that's plausible.
You don't ever want to hear this phrase. Nothing good will come from it. If someone says that it's "not what it looks like," it's exactly what it looks like.
Even if you read his incriminating texts or see him kiss another woman, he'll claim that it's all in your head. He refuses to admit that he's done something wrong, so the only thing he can do to save himself is to blame you and claim that you're crazy.
After you catch him cheating, he's going to claim that he's changed and will never hurt you again. However, how could you believe anything that comes out of a cheater's mouth? If you want a healthy relationship, you need to move on, because you'll never have one with him.
If you are already in a bad relationship and your man begins to say things like these, sadly he may be cheating on you. On the other hand if you are in a great relationship and your man says some of these things (like staying after work, I can do my laundry, etc) hopefully it is the truth and he isn't cheating on you. If you catch him saying these things and you find out he is cheating on you it's probably a good time to leave the relationship and realize how much better you can do without him.
Guest blogger, Marcelina Hardy is a relationship coach, who specializes in helping people deal with cheating and other relationship problems. Come by Relationship Repair for more relationship help.
Are you looking to guest blog with All Women Stalk, please contact me at Diana(at)allwomenstalk(dot)com, I look forward to hearing from you!
This article was written in collaboration with editor Holly Riordan.
Please rate this article