I'm going to share with you 19 ways to know if you're losing interest in your relationship. In the beginning of a relationship there are always nerves and butterflies. That's one of the best parts! Then we start to feel more at home with ourselves and get more comfortable in the relationship. We start to let down the walls and feel safer in being our authentic selves. There comes a point where feelings start to settle. Being comfortable can be confusing when it comes to being in a relationship. Ask yourself, are you happy because you are in a relationship, or is it because of who you are in a relationship with? These 19 ways to know if you're losing interest in your relationship are here to help you decide your fate with your man.
1. You Start to Lose Butterflies
I believe butterflies aren't just excitement but a lot of nerves. I don't care how confident you are, we all have nerves when it comes to dating someone new. Somewhere in the relationship things aren't as exciting as they were in the beginning, which is typical. If you aren't excited knowing you have a date night with your man or when the person calls and you rather not answer, this is a sign you are losing interest in your relationship.
2. You'd Rather Hang with Other People
This is a clear indication you are losing interest in your relationship. If being with your boyfriend sounds like a chore, it may be time to break up. Of course, it's okay to want to hang out with your friends. It's even healthy to plan girls nights! But if you are planning a night with your partner and it's the last thing you want to do, note that that's not how being in a relationship should feel.
3. All the Little Annoyances Are Magnified
Everyone has their flaws. When you are in a relationship you accept each other for good and bad. If all you can do is focus on the negative things about your partner it is definitely not a good sign. We all have our moments when everyone is getting on our last nerve, but if this is something that happens constantly, note it!
4. Other Boys Interest You
Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely okay to check out other guys when you are in a relationship. A little flirting never hurt anyone. But when you are day dreaming about other boys, thinking about what dating other guys would be like, and missing the single life, it's time to contemplate a break up. It's not fair to your man to not give him the attention he deserves. And it is not fair to yourself just because you are afraid of breaking up or hurting him.
5. Want to Skip the Sex
Sex and intimacy are a key part in any relationship. It is what differentiates a friendship from a relationship. If sex sounds like work to you, that is not good. Sex is fun and a way to be with your man emotionally. If you aren't wanting to have sex with your partner it's a sign you aren't wanting to connect with them. Wanting to skip sex if you're not in the mood is one thing, but if you don't want to have sex because of the person it would be with, that's another.
6. You like the Feeling of a Relationship but Not the Person
Holding hands, having someone care about you and being affectionate, getting to have a new best friend and do fun things with, being with someone who you can confide in because of the trust that is built - it's amazing! Who wouldn't want that? Of course there is fighting and drama, but you have to ask yourself does the good outweigh the bad? Remember you aren't the only one in a relationship. If you are with someone you aren't that into but they are madly in love with you, let them go. Find that amazing feeling of being in a relationship with someone you actually want to be in a relationship with. If you are imagining someone replacing your boyfriend, it's a definite sign you are losing interest in your relationship.
7. Feel like Something is Missing
Ever hear the saying, "trust your gut"? If you feel like something is missing in your relationship, but can't put your finger on it, it's okay. Trust that intuition. You may not always need a clear reason. Feeling like there's a lack somewhere is enough.
8. Become Distant Unintentionally
If you're dealing with the feeling that something is missing, focusing on the annoyances of your partner, lack of excitement, etc. of course you are going to become distant. One, you're thinking about breaking up with this person, and two, we naturally put up a guard when we aren't happy. Automatically we become distant and sometimes can't shake it. Keep in mind to pay attention when you aren't being affectionate or compassionate or caring about the other person.
9. You Don't Have Fun Anymore
I'm not saying you need to be on cloud nine every time you hang out with your date, but you should enjoy yourself. If you aren't having fun, this is a very clear sign you are losing interest in your partnership. When you can't wait for your boyfriend to leave or the night to be over, it's time to break up. I can pretty much have fun doing anything with my boyfriend, and the moment that stops, it's time to second guess my relationship.
10. You Don't Want to Talk
If you can, and prefer, to go a whole day without talking to your partner, that's probably a bad sign. Remember the days when you didn't want to stop talking to them? What happened to those? Well, you're likely losing interest and you don't want to talk to that person. I'm not saying you need to spend every second texting and calling your significant other, but if you'd rather skip talking all together you probably want to take a minute and think about what that means.
11. You Think of Someone else First
When something big in your life happens, who is the first person you want to call? If it's a parent, who's second? For me, when something happens, amazing or horrible, the first person I call is my boyfriend. I want him to either help me or share the moment with me. If your partner is usually who you think of and then you start to think of others first, I'd ask yourself why that's happening.
12. Flirting with Other People
To be fair, a lot of people are natural flirts and flirt with anyone without it meaning anything. When it starts to mean something, or when you get more excited flirting with that person than with your significant other, that's when the trouble starts. There is such a thing as harmless flirting, but you also can tell the difference between the two and if you start feeling butterflies while flirting with someone else it's probably a bad sign.
13. You're Bored
I don't mean bored as in "oh it's boring sitting here doing nothing." I mean bored in the relationship. If your relationship doesn't excite you anymore and the thought of doing anything with your partner bums you out, then you're likely losing interest. Even when you're doing something boring, your relationship in general should excite you.
14. You Start Picking Fights
Because you're bored, you start picking fights to add excitement. You're not necessarily angry or annoyed, you just want something, anything, to happen and get you interested again. Sound familiar? You might think that it's nothing, but it matters! Starting fights for no reason is a waste of both of your time. Figure out where this is stemming from and fix it.
15. You Stop Fighting
Sounds ridiculous because of the previous point I'm sure, but this is also true. When you stop caring enough to fight about the things you used to fight about, take notice. If you're not willing to fight for your relationship or in your relationship, then chances are you just don't care. This is never a fun realization, but in the long run you'll benefit from noticing things like this about how you're feeling.
16. You Lose Sexual Desire
Like stated earlier, you may lose the drive, but if you end up finding yourself completely turned off the even the idea of being intimate with them, if you no longer look at them and want to jump their bones let alone even kiss them, you need to realize you've probably lost interest in your relationship with him. It's probably best to end things at this point rather than stay in a love-less relationship with someone.
17. You Don't Pay Attention when They Talk
When your relationship first started, you probably hung on every word he said. But NOW if you find yourself completely blowing them off and not giving a second thought while they're talking because you'd rather scroll through your Facebook newsfeed, it's safe to say you've lost interest in your guy.
18. You Stop Checking in
Remember the days you used to love talking whether it was a call or text? Or you'd check in when you'd wake up, after work, etc? If those days are long gone and you no longer want to talk to them, give them insight into your day, or check to see how his is going, you've definitely lost interest in relationship.
19. You Become Selfish
If the days of buying your guy cute little gifts are gone and you'd rather spend your money on yourself, if you find yourself cooking your favorite food and not his because you don't care about that stuff anymore, your relationship is probably done-zo. Call it quits while you both still have some of your dignity left and move on.
These are the 19 signs you are losing interest in your relationship. The key thing to remember is that you are not the only one in this partnership. It's always hard knowing you could hurt someone, but it's more hurtful to keep someone thinking you are more into them than you really are. Give each other a chance to find someone who makes you both happy and keeps you interested!
This article was written in collaboration with editor Lydia Sheehan.