Top Signs Youve Been Single Way Too Long ...

By Neecey

How long have you been out of the dating game? Can you even remember the last time you had a date? If you’re even near thinking you’ve given up on love, you’ll definitely recognize these signs you’ve been single for too long.

Table of contents:

  1. sex life?
  2. bitter
  3. mom doesn’t ask
  4. daddy’s girl
  5. do i have something on my face?
  6. rather stay at home
  7. you’ve given up
  8. all netflix, no chill
  9. solo wine glass
  10. tv boyfriends
  11. cuddle pillow
  12. you’ve looked ahead
  13. settle for a bff
  14. no shaving!
  15. men’s shirts
  16. pregnancy alert
  17. studio apartment
  18. starfish
  19. your ex is engaged

1 Sex Life?

What sex life? If sex life were a required box to tick on a job application form, you would be writing in a bit fat N/A.

2 Bitter

You find yourself not being happy for your loved up friends anymore, but just super bitter in an unattractive, Miss Havisham kind of way!

3 Mom Doesn’t Ask

Your mom used to pester you all the time about finding a nice man to settle down with, but it’s now got to the point where she doesn’t even bring your love life up anymore.

4 Daddy’s Girl

You know you’ve been single for too long when you say things like “the only guy that I can depend on to love me is my Dad!” Honey, you’re 25. Let’s try to move on and make some new connections!

5 Do I Have Something on My Face?

Whenever a guy looks at you from across a room, instead of thinking that he might be interested in you, you automatically assume that you have something terrible on your face!

6 Rather Stay at Home

You have definitely been single for too long when you find yourself turning down dates because you’d rather stay at home on the couch watching Netflix. You’ve become too comfortable with your routine!

7 You’ve Given up

While all your friends are swiping left and right on Tinder, you prefer to swipe left and right on the IKEA app. The idea of a new lamp is more attractive to you than a new boyfriend.

8 All Netflix, No Chill

You’ve only just learnt what this new phrase means, and you cannot imagine having to tear your eyes away from Orange Is The New Black long enough to get any loving business done!

9 Solo Wine Glass

You have found that you use the same single wine glass over and over again in the evenings because you can’t remember the last time you had to get two out of the cabinet.

10 TV Boyfriends

You are perfectly content with pretending to be married to any one of the hot protagonists from your favorite TV shows. They never let you down, are always on time, and you never argue!

11 Cuddle Pillow

You’ve taken to cuddling your favourite pillow at night because you can’t remember the last time you had an actual person to spoon with.

12 You’ve Looked Ahead

You have actually found yourself searching online about the fine details of sperm banks and adoption, simply because you have given up on the middle part from dating to motherhood!

13 Settle for a BFF

Your BFF has essentially replaced a boyfriend and plays that role just fine. You wear their clothes, you cook them dinner ... basically everything except the sex part!

14 No Shaving!

One of the key signs you’ve been single for too long is that you literally cannot remember the last time you used a razor. Maybe once a month if you fancy it, but without a valid reason to rid yourself of your body hair, you let it grow grow grow!

15 Men’s Shirts

You find yourself buying men’s shirts at the store because let’s be real, having your own is the only way you are going to be able to smell and nuzzle them like you used to!

16 Pregnancy Alert

You automatically think you’re pregnant every single time you hook up with someone because you have forgotten the way that your body works!

17 Studio Apartment

You took up the lease on that nice studio apartment because you can’t imagine why you would need more room than just for yourself.

18 Starfish

You have forgotten what it is like to sleep in the bed with another person, so you starfish to your heart’s content!

19 Your Ex is Engaged

Here you are, 2 years later, still trying to get over the break up when all of a sudden you see the dreaded announcement on Facebook. Killer!

Are you ready to get up off your lazy ass and get back out into the dating game?

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