Ah, the subtle art of flirting; it’s a tricky one and it’s not always easy to know what the flirting mistakes you don’t want to make are. Flirting is, in the hands of some women, a lethal weapon – in others (myself included)… not so much. But you shouldn’t hold back through a lack of confidence – flirting, whether just a bit of fun or the start of a beautiful relationship, can leave you feeling great and give you a little esteem boost. Just make sure you remember the flirting mistakes you don’t want to make.
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1. DUTCH COURAGE
This is definitely one of the flirting mistakes you don't want to make, or you could wake up cringing in the morning. Most social flirting happens at maybe a party, or a bar. And that probably means the drinks will be flowing and downing a few cocktails for some Dutch courage will be tempting. By all means, have a drink to relax – but remember there’s a fine line between very brave, and very drunk.
2. KEEP IT LIGHT
Don’t scare him off before you’ve had a chance to charm him. You’ve only just met – don’t talk about how much you would like to meet someone special, how you’re ready to settle down and don’t get possessive over him if you spy him talking to other people. He will think that you’re a crazy person.
3. DON’T BE a TEASE
Unless all you’re looking for is a one-off thing, it’s probably best not to come on too strong. Subtle touching can be a good thing – maybe brush his arm or hand as you talk to him. But if you throw yourself at him, or are overtly sexual, it could give him the wrong idea about what you want. And no-one likes a tease.
4. DON’T PLAY TOO HARD to GET
Having said that, if you do like a guy, you might have to give him a couple of clues. Men aren’t always the most perceptive of creatures (and don’t we know it?), so don’t play too hard to get. When it comes to flirting, where you might think you’re acting coy, he probably thinks you just don’t like him very much.
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5. FOCUS on HIM
Similarly, if there’s one person in particular you like the look of, keep the flirting with the guys around him to a minimum. Chances are, he’ll notice and back off. Remember, you need to make him feel good, too – and talking to other men in the same tone and manner isn’t the best way to do that.
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6. DON’T MOAN
A flirting mistake I’m sure we’ve all done before – talking about an ex. You’ve only just met, so this really is not the time to talk about all the things that are wrong with your life; whether that’s at work, with your friends or (worst of all) with an ex-boyfriend. Remember you aren’t with your girlfriends here – save drowning your sorrows for the next time you see them.
7. RELAX
Above all, flirting is meant to be fun. Enjoy it for what it is – don’t go out thinking that every guy you start talking to is going to be your next boyfriend. And if you do make one of these mistakes, then never mind. We’ve all done them, and hey, the next guy is much better-looking anyway, right?
The biggest flirting mistake you can make is, of course, number one – because number one so often leads to numbers 2-7. Just remember that, then get out there and have a great time! Do you have any other mistakes we should avoid? Have you ever been guilty of any of these?
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Comments
Katarina: Is this a case of "he's just not into me?"
Katarina: @Heather Jensen so I said its been a crazy week and maybe we should catch up with a coffee break sometime soon when we re both available. He said we definitely should do coffee soon...advice now I wait for him to plan it correct? No more push?
Katarina: Thanks @Heather Jensen ...I saw him quickly again today, he came by my desk to grab a book. My admin said that was the second time he came by, first time no book, second time he got the book and said light reading. I hit him on the shoulder to say hello. It's always confusing when it comes to work and play. We all have the IM system here, but a friend said don't MSG again you did it before and he got the hint he can too. He seems interested by his body language but he doesn't say it.
Sadia: @katarina my coworker told me he didnt have a crush on me when i asked him..i swore to myself he did by the way he acted. Turns out he did and was too scared. Five years later we are married. Im not saying that could be the case for you but what Im saying is even though he was a big wimp, there were many signs and he did ask me to hang out alot, but just didnt make any moves hahaha..this coworker of yours, sounds like he is clueless! I cant imagine him asking you for coffee. Wait a few days and ask again. If he is non responsive, then its safe to assume that hes not into you.
Phillip: In fact, It's hard to be interested in a girl when she doesn't show you any interest, even if you know she is interested. You know what I mean, this is called "being a tease", and NOBODY likes a tease, regardless of how "hot" you are. The girls I find the most sexy are definitely not the Barby type or the "hot" girl. This has 100% to do with how they act. The reason the "girl next door" look is so hot lies in the fact that those women generally aren't so full of themself, and they aren't afraid to smile encouragingly or touch your forearm when chatting... Not so subtle hints that they are into you... Super sexy. Too much effort to get a girl tells me a woman is flat out too much work, it probably won't work out between us unless I pick a high paying residency. Total turn off, but maybe that's just me.
Phillip: It's nice to hear that not all girls "make him work for it." It gets tiring doing all the work with no hint of effort until you turn away. I cringe every time I hear a woman say they like to "make him chase me."
Jeremy: #3- (tease). To a guy, this means one of 3 things a) all u want is sex or b) you are the girl that the world dates, and cannot be taken seriously for commitment. c) u have a massive ego problem and think of yourself as being some sort of a unique gift that has to be earned. Yuck. At a 8pm date who wants to think of the work day ? !
tamari: 'Romantic' XD
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