Wondering how to move on when you still love your ex? In an ideal world, whenever you have to break up with a partner, it would be on your own terms and based on your own feelings and decisions. However, life isn’t perfect and doesn’t always go in the direction that you want it to, which makes being dumped by somebody that you still have strong feelings for a strong possibility. Being in love with an ex long after the relationship has ended is a really awful situation to be in because it prevents you from being able to move on and start a new chapter in your life. If you find yourself in the unfortunate position of being in love with an ex after all this time, then how to move on when you still love your ex.
1. Zero Contact
Zero contact is the best answer for how to move on when you still love your ex. Don’t agree to still be friends when you know full well that the feelings you have for him are still romantic ones. He might be able to resume a platonic friendship with you, but you won’t be able to do the same, and having him constantly around will only serve as a reminder that you don’t have what you most desire. Going cold turkey might be painful, but it’s best for you if you cut off all contact.
2. Stop Fantasising
You might still harbour dreams and fantasies of the two of you getting back together, and the longer you allow these to continue in your head, the longer you are going to stay stuck in this limbo of still loving him and not being able to move on. The majority of relationships, once broken up, do no get back together again, so don’t rest all your hopes on him ‘seeing sense’ and coming back to you, because it’s really unlikely.
3. Make Peace with the past
Try to forgive yourself for mistakes you made in the past that resulted in the breakdown of the relationship. The more you dwell on those past situations, the longer you spend with the positive memory of your ex, and the stronger and longer your feelings of love will stay. Make peace with what has happened in the past, with what you cannot change, and focus instead on the present and the future, the times of your life that your ex isn’t a part of.
4. Don’t Beat Yourself up
The more you chastise yourself for still loving him, the stronger those feelings are probably going to be. Rather than making it this big part of your life, accept that you are going to have feelings for him for a while longer, but also try to move on with your life at the same time. You might find that as you make personal progress, the feelings of love start to become weaker and weaker.
5. Love Yourself
Rather than giving all of your loving energy to somebody who is now out of the picture, instead try to practise a little more self-love in order to get your self-esteem and happiness up. Keep telling yourself that you deserve somebody who is going to love you as much as you love them, and the universe will reward your attitude eventually.