Before I even start to get ready, I make a list of questions to ask on a first date. I want to be able to take control and get to know the person better. Knowing what questions to ask on a first date ensures you won't struggle for conversation. Odds are, your date wants to know the same things about you. As a rule, I never ask any question that I'm not ready to answer myself.
1. What's Your Goal in Life?
I could rephrase this question a hundred different ways. The object is to find out what the person wants to do with their life, such as job, family, dreams, etc. As one of the most wide open questions to ask on a first date, it gets the conversation going. It leads to a series of other questions and truly lets you know how focused the person is on their goals. If you don't want to sound too demanding, rephrase the question to ask about a person's job or hobbies.
2. What Are Your Pet Peeves?
I hate going on a first date and trying my best not to do anything that might annoy them. To make the date a little more relaxing for me, I ask my date what his pet peeves are. You'll know from the first date what really annoys him. If it's a deal breaker, you know not to bother with a second date. It also gives you a chance to tell your date what really gets on your nerves as well.
3. What Are Your Favorite Hobbies?
Asking about hobbies is a great way to find out if you have something in common with your date. It also tells you more about what they enjoy. I was extremely surprised that a shy guy I once dated was actually a musician in his spare time. We played the same instrument and spent hours talking about it. If you both share a hobby, it becomes a perfect second date idea.
4. What do You Want in a Relationship?
While this is probably the most personal question on the list, it's also one of the most important. If I'm looking for a long term relationship, I don't want to waste my time with a guy who's only interested in a few casual dates. This is the perfect time to find out exactly what your date is looking for. Whether it's marriage, family or just seeing how it goes, you'll have some idea whether it's worth a second date or not.
5. What is Your Favorite Book, Movie, Show or Game?
The way you ask the question depends on the person. If you're unsure if they read books, play games or watch TV, ask those questions as well. As with most first date questions, knowing some of your date's favorite things gives you a lot to talk about and more insight into who they are. You can always follow up and ask why they like a particular show or book. If you're like me, you'll probably be surprised at some of the answers you get.
6. What's Your Favorite Music?
Music says a lot about a person. For instance, if your date listens to nothing but music that degrades women, you know he's not worth your time. I know many people assume their date likes a particular kind of music based on accent, style of dress and where they grew up. However, I was shocked to find out a guy who was raised in the country, absolutely loved metal, rock and even some techno. Music gives you common ground. It also leads to questions about why they like a certain music.
7. Are You a Cat or Dog Person?
As a cat person, I have to know whether my date is pro-cat or not. If you're one or other, you already know how different the two personalities can be. You can also ask whether the person has any pets or if they have a particular pet they wish they could have. For people living in places where pets aren't allowed, giving them a chance to talk about their dream pet is a great way to find out some of their plans for the future. This is a fun question that doesn't delve into anything too personal.
8. What Scares You Most about Relationships or Dating?
I usually ask a guy what scares them most about dating someone new. It's less personal, but helps me understand what topics or actions might make them uncomfortable. If you really want to know more about a future with this person, ask about relationships instead. You'll quickly get a general idea of what they're looking for and why they haven't found it yet. Just don't push too hard or you might scare them away.
9. What's Your Guilty Pleasure?
I've asked plenty of questions on first dates, but one of my favorite is about guilty pleasures. You can have so much fun with this one and learn something about your date many people probably don't know. Maybe your date loves watching Bridezillas or getting a weekly manicure. Guilty pleasures are fun, yet somewhat embarrassing. They break the ice and make both of you seem more personable.
Asking questions on a first date helps the conversation flow smoothly. Don't worry about keeping track of a set list. Ask what comes naturally and find out what you really want to know about your date. What are some of your favorite first date questions?